Notices by Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social), page 5

Sorry for the outbursts in various places as of recent. As said recently I am going through a lot, so much that it would be overwhelming to anyone.

I don’t think I’ll quit vtubing permanently, but I will have to focus on survival for now. I can’t piggyback off others kindness for stability anymore. So, I don’t have the energy to stream or maintain friendships and the like.

If I don’t respond to you, please note that it isn’t anything personal. I am just struggling a lot right now and have very limited capacity I can utilise. There’s no long term solutions ahead of me so I’m afraid I’ll probably be like this for the foreseeable future.

I’m battling depression, constant anxiety, low self esteem, autism, possible ADHD and more while a never ending stream of problems get piled on me faster than I can take care of them.

I feel what I’m going through could break anyone. My biggest mistake in all this was to take the resulting meltdown out on people I cared about. Despite how they say they want to repair the friendship, I am well aware that things will never go back to how they were.

Life is a constant struggle and never ending suffering, and often I really don’t see the point in living when that’s the hand I keep getting dealt. But I’m doing my best to push onwards, despite everything.

But I’ve given up on happiness, after what I’ve gone through recently, I just don’t have it in me anymore.

My asthma is getting worse, coughing fits suuuuuuck

I think I might’ve found a way out of one of the messes I’m embroiled in… still have a million problems on my back and enormous self hate though

@mike @gfxstrand when you’re a few days away from bankruptcy it’s very hard to not be affected by negative emotions

I’m practically going bankrupt in 3 days guess I’m screwed

I probably deserve what I’m going through right now though. I’m an awful person. I hate myself

I’m a complete and utter failure of a person and a weight chained to my friends that they end up having to drag around.

Fuck I’m pathetic

My life is constantly on the verge of falling apart, problems only pile up, I’m both a burden to the people around me and hurt the people I care about, and it’s fucking unbearable.

Every day is just more mental agony and anxiety and sadness and I never ever get to get a break from it for even a second. I have to pretend to be normal enough that people will want to be around me while I’m falling apart on the inside and now there’s nobody to help me and dealing with all of this alone is just too much. I can’t, I’m just playing video games and hiding underneath my blanket hoping the world outside just stops existing

Please just kill me and get it over with

Hey everyone, I’ll be quitting VTubing. I’ll still be active here as I develop VTubing software. But I’ll be going back to being someone who works behind the scenes. Thank you to everyone who tuned in to my, quite rocky and scuffed vtubing adventure.

I’m leaving nullptr::live starting today.
I’ll still return to streaming one day, when my depression is less horrible.

I will not return under the nullptr::live banner, though.

I may still collaborate with some of its members in the future, but no promises.

For now, my focus will be on developing Inochi2D.

@Sophilautia bluesky

@MayaYa thanks

I'm on this app now

Denmark is “fun” to live in because in summer you’ll cook alive at 40 degrees C and in winter you’ll be freezing your tits off at -5 to -15 degrees C

@UkeBLCatboy @CatboyCody of course that just creates a window, you'd have to handle window events for it to do anything useful

@UkeBLCatboy @CatboyCody
CreateWindowA(null, "", WS_OVERLAPPEDWINDOW | WS_VISIBLE, 0, 0, 640, 480, null, null, null, null);

I make game engines from scratch, develop a VTuber software suite from scratch, have ported a programming language to the SEGA Dreamcast with some inline SH4A assembly.

I didn’t need a degree to do that, and neither do you.

@noe @mia I make game engines from scratch, have ported a programming language to the SEGA Dreamcast among other things with inline SH4A assembly.

I didn’t need a degree to do that.

@gsuberland @tthbaltazar I remember spending 4 months writing unit tests the wrong way because they ran out of material