Notices by mist (ai@cawfee.club)
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@JohnFediverse @grips @Komnene If I removed your avatars, usernames and handles from your posts I could not differentiate who is speaking amongst you. You may be two different people on two different instances but you are essentially the same people. The same comebacks, the same quips, the same lackadaisical nonsensical retorts lathered in the same recipe of ironic posting. It is literally all the same shit. People like you lend credence to the dead internet theory.
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@ceo_of_monoeye_dating @leyonhjelm @meso @CSB @fuknukl @dj @RatPoster CSB (ratposter is trying so hard to win, spamming posts and all, while csb engineers his victory from behind locked doors)
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@affine “Hmm... maybe my dysphoria will go away if I just live as a Black man?”
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Canadian military “raked”? Really?? The CBC couldn’t have chosen any other word?
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@hidden @hidden On November 17, 2016, a 4chan user posted "day of the rake soon" in response to a news article stating that Canadian war hospitals would treat ISIS fighters in accordance with the Geneva Conventions. This is a reference to the "day of the rope," a fictitious mass lynching depicted in the 1978 novel The Turner Diaries by neo-Nazi author William Luther Pierce.
The idea of purging Canadians resurfaced in a meme, likely created in April 2017, wherein a curtain is drawn back to reveal a maple leaf with shitposter face typing on a keyboard. This is an edit of a poster created by notable Nazi propagandist Hans Schweitzer. Curiously, the poster's year of creation does not seem to be known. The meme edit continues to enjoy modern relevance, for example as the NSFW cover image for recently-decommissioned Fediverse instance "Leafposter Club".
There is a certain tension between these two portrayals of the menace of the online Canadian. The use of Schweitzer's poster likens the Canadian to the Jew, implied prejudicially to be the 'man behind the curtain' who stands at the top of a grand conspiracy. In contrast, the "day of the rope" in the Turner Diaries is merely a purge of white people who collaborated with the "System" in various ways - when the "day of the rope" takes place, all non-whites have already been driven out of the white ethnostate. Are Canadians meant to be hidden puppetmasters of salt and seething, or are they merely the stooges of greater powers, as the "Cuck" stamp on Justin Trudeau's face would imply?
Certainly, the Canadian state does possess some measure of agency. The Canadian Border Services Agency has classified The Turner Diaries as hate propaganda and banned its import into the country. Therein lies the delicious irony of the "day of the rake" meme: it mocks a nation using a work of literature which they are banned from reading, by the very same paternalistic government which makes them worthy of mockery.
When the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation describes the Canadian military as being 'raked' online, it is a state-sponsored publication describing the humiliation of its own military via reference to Nazi and neo-Nazi propaganda depictions of ethnic cleansing. This is fitting of a state whose Prime Minister has declared it to be the "world's first post-national state." The goal of mass immigration lobbying groups such as the Century Initiative is not to cleanse the nation of its people - as white supremacists like Pierce would have it - but instead to cleanse the people of their nation.
There is another layer of humor in the "day of the rake" which derives from the fact that a rake is not a traditional or efficient means of execution. The malleable tines and breakable wooden handle of a typical rake make its use as a weapon of genocide implausible to the point of hilarity. It drives home the conceit of the joke, which is that Canadians are literally leaves, dwelling in the world in a leaflike way, drifting down from trees, lying scattered in the backyards of homes they cannot enter because they have no arms. This image parallels antisemitic myths that Jews are (or transform into) cockroaches or rats. The transfiguration aspect of the 'leaf' meme is reprised in the 'day of the grill,' which likens Americans to 'burgers' because they are both made of mystery meat.
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@xianc78 @djsumdog @Alex @rat @hidden @arcana @allison @cell A yard is a meter though. That’s why europe is so cramped: they can only fit three feer in their yards
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@arcana @Alex @rat @hidden @allison @cell Not if it’s made with good nonplasticky cheese!!
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@Leaflord I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS I AM WHERE THE WIRES CROSS
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@Leaflord @hidden Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: The affected storefront is to be covered in unmarked construction tarp and the area monitored by a Level 1 security team. Humanoids which emerge from the walk-in freezer are to be housed in the store's empty offices until the end of each week, at which point they are to be incinerated and their remains transported to the nearest abatement facility. Researchers are cautioned to avoid questioning the humanoids or examining any documents provided by them.
Description: The object is a disused retail space located in [REDACTED], Massachusetts, which was formerly a bilingual after-school program. In addition to broken furniture, toys, books, and office supplies, the interior contains shelving and appliances typical of grocery stores in the area. Several times each night, the walk-in freezer locks for an indeterminate period of time (never observed to exceed one hour) and is subsequently forced open by 10,000 to 50,000 anomalous humanoids of unclear origin. Detailed examination of the interior of the freezer has not revealed how these humanoids are generated or transported into the facility.
The humanoids closely resemble baseline humans of Latin American descent but have no vocal chords despite exhibiting frequent mouth movements indicative of distressed vocalization. They will accept and consume food but do not appear to require biological sustenance. Surgical dissection has revealed that they possess no internal organs. Instead, their bodies are filled with identification documents such as state ID cards, birth certificates, and passports for the countries of the United States, [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]. Under forensic examination, these documents appear to be authentic but correspond to no known individuals, living or dead, in the respective countries.
A secondary anomaly manifests on the welcome banner hung across the windows of the storefront. The banner contains words witten in Spanish and English which are superficially typical of bilingual school advertisements but, upon closer examination, contain phrases with negative affect such as "help me", "caution", "not safe here", and [DATA EXPUNGED]. The words change when unobserved by humans or recording devices, and all attempts to erase them or remove the banner have been met with failure. The humanoids from the freezer will occasionally gesture towards specific phrases on the banner, but the meaning these behaviors is unclear.
In the debriefing interview following the acquisition of the object, Agent Donner noted that, when the bilingual school was still in operation, it was well-received by local residents due to its provision of free and reduced-price after-school meals. The municipal budget of [REDACTED], Massachusetts does not include any food initiatives targeted at after-school programs.
Since the acquisition of the object, more than 800 million anomalous humanoids have manifested through the walk-in freezer. On-site security cameras equipped with facial recognition algorithms have not detected any duplicate matches between these humanoids. The total current population of Latin America is under 700 million.
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@kf01 @hidden @Leaflord I just learned what subway surfer is and I regret everything. (Reject modernity, retvrn to temple run)
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@kf01 @hidden @Leaflord Many will agree with me that it would have been better if the Mayans were right 😭
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@grips @gav @IAMAL_PHARIUS wow this post (found from your archive link) is something else
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The little bird nestled in the extinguished twigs of a tree whose berries were cold fire. He dreamed of days when his feathers were long and the sky was clear and he would dig his talons into the snakelike wind and ride it all the way to the sun. And every time he breathed, he shuddered from the cold air and occupied his little head with the inscrutable geometry of great distances.
Happy new year's everyone :)
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@Leaflord Remember, ethnics are not only there to add color to the environment (passive worldbuilding), they are also a convenient way to remind the player of incomplete quests
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@koropokkur @Awoo @rlier23 @Zerglingman @lonelyowl @MK2boogaloo @MCMLXVIIOTG @Barbecued_Lemons @Heil_Honkler @Hoss
when women hit the wall, their dorsal legs atrophy
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@hidden @tiskaan A perennial topic of Dark Fedi debate has been the nature and sound of hidden's famed internal monologue. As a self-professed 'word-rotator,' her claims have naturally invited questions such as, "if a word rotates in someone's mind, does it make a sound?" and "what is the sound of one apple spinning?". Some have theorized that hidden's internal monologue is really more of a 'symbol-language', consisting of around 5000 ideograms which stand for whole concepts at a time, not 'unverbal' but rather 'superverbal' or 'verbal germs' - in other words, the theory postulates that hidden, like all Canadians, is secretly Chinese. However, this pandemonium of theories can finally be set in order now that this lore drop has been made available. Consider the established facts: hidden sounds out every word in her head, and she also reads approximately 250 pages in 2 hours. A conservative estimate of 300 words per page implies a reading speed of 300 * 250 / (2 * 60) = 625 words per minute. Since it has already been established that she sounds out these words in her head, we are left to conclude that her internal monologue sounds exactly like pic related.
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@tiskaan @hidden your typo has got me thinking of speedreading speedrunning categories:
100% the fuck why are you reading so much?
any% the fuck why aren't you reading all the words?
low% the fuck do you not remember by reading so slow
wha% the fuck do you remember by reading so fast
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@Leaflord @hidden I love this song. But, I also once heard it described as "the song that waspy boys blast on their daddy's yacht to make all the residents worry that the neighborhood's gone downhill"
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@dicey man, this reminds me when we’d call my whitewashed asian buddies “bananas” because they’re white on the inside. My white buddies I’d call “eggs” because they’re yellow on the inside. Sadly, due to current-day trends, I can’t be calling all my friends eggs anymore
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@Leaflord
1. Maxwell’s Demon can ensure perfect contraception by making sure no sperm go through the barrier
2. At the moment of climax, Roko’s Basilisk will decide to eternally torture anyone who doesn’t help make this orgy happen
3. Schrodinger’s cat is edging more effectively than anyone ever has, because he exists in a superposition of cummed and not cummed
mist
I'm not real
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