Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 3

Me: Mastodon is the best. People are friendly, there's no manipulative algorithm, and it's full of interesting content.

Journalist: Amazing, the headline of my article will be "Mastodon is social media's new hope".

Me: Also, there are no ads.

Journalist: Interesting. Let's change that headline to "Mastodon is a toxic cesspool that is already dead".

I hope we never lose it again.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Poor Brian.

From now on, anytime someone asks me why I put so much time and effort into this arguably dumb account, I will simply tell them that I do it for Tim.

Well that's depressing.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

He discovered the most unhealthy healthy diet.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Trying to find my people on Mastodon. Please boost and follow me if you:

-Believe that cheesecake is a right, not a privilege.
-Mentally greet each bird you see just in case they are telepathic.
-Think that cruise ships are too heavy to float and refuse to listen anytime someone attempts to explain the physics of it to you.
-Don't see why the government can't criminalize "It's just a prank bro" Youtube videos.
-Want inanimate objects with googly eyes to be eligible to run for president.

History is so interesting.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Welcome to Mastodon! It's a laid back place. But here's a few simple rules you must follow:

1. Never assume that a user is human. This can be very offensive to non-humans.

2. Do not make jokes about peanut allergies, anything that could be deemed a hobby, or anyone who passed away more recently than the year 1300.

3. Always use the hashtag #notascam. Otherwise, we will assume you are swindling us.

4. Tell three of your friends to join. Yes, it's a pyramid scheme.

That makes sense.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

LeBron makes a good point.

Still trying to find my people on Mastodon. Please boost if you:

-Like ice cream.

-Enjoy reading books.

-Have recurring dreams that you are a frog.

-Feel distraught when you wake up and realize that you are in fact not a frog.

-Spend your days studying ancient texts in search of a forbidden incantation that transforms humans into amphibians.

I never knew this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

There must be something wrong with my microwave, the egg just explodes whenever I try this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Obviously.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

I've received a few requests for more cat pictures, so here's Fishy being a chubby little gnome.

This is still one of my favorite comics we've made.

He is out of control.

Yikes.