Notices by Zettour (zettour@gearlandia.haus), page 6
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Too much of a good thing
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@troubledturtle Yes
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Historians were wrong yet again. They doubted Homer's account and said the Mycenaeans used just leather armor. Even after they found an intact armor in a grave.
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An ancient alliance
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@lain Yeah, "Reich" was in the background of some video that Trump or his staff retweeted.
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@MK2boogaloo @pernia Even SNL had a few bright spots.
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@MK2boogaloo @pernia Saturday Night Live. Hasn't been worth watching at all since the 90s.
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🐱
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@vic @MK2boogaloo Runs like new
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I am really tired of being sick. Throat is bleeding from the coughing so I have to spit up bloody phlegm periodically now.
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@MK2boogaloo @munir @bleedingphoenix His name is Arabic
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@SNEK @frogmaiden @bleedingphoenix She's just a hard worker
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😢
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Feverish and dehydrated. Surely this energy drink is a good idea.
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@spectatorindex Surprisingly low, honestly. Their homes are usually a greater multiple in size.
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I'm going to be slightly more cultured than usual and read The Epic of Gilgamesh. I'm just going to list interesting bits, not necessarily in the order of the narrative.
Tablet 1:
The translator threw in a paragraph not on any tablets just because he didn't like how it flowed. At least these sections are clearly noted.
Gilgamesh is 16'6", 2/3 god, and the perfect ruler. Also he raped every woman in the city and the gods are annoyed by all the complaining women.
Gods created Tarzan (Enkidu) to buttfuck (literally) Gilgamesh into submission. Tarzan was chilling with the animals instead; which pissed off a hunter.
The hunter brings a hooker from the city to fuck Tarzan for a week straight. The truecel animals understandably want nothing to do with Tarzan anymore, so he goes to the city to fight Gilgamesh despite now being in a weakened sex-haver state.
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Tablet 3:
Ninsun (Gilgamesh's mother) adopts Enkidu as Gilgamesh's brother, so any future sex stuff is now incest
The god of prophecy tells Gilgamesh his journey is a terrible idea, so Gilgamesh tries bribing her unsuccessfully
Enkidu is clearly going to die based on foreshadowing
Tablet 4:
Lots of walking and prophetic dreams by Gilgamesh, Enkidu just says they're a good omen repeatedly but he's going to be wrong
Tablet 5:
Humbaba is reasonably mad that his home in the wooded mountains is being invaded. Upon defeat he asks for his life to be spared and points out the gods are going to be pissed about the whole adventure.
Enkidu convinces Gilgamesh to kill Humbaba and all his kids. Trees are chopped down and stolen from god's mountain to make a gigantic door/raft to bribe that same god into forgiving them for killing Humbaba, who was created to guard the trees.
Enkidu and Gilgamesh are morons (my opinion, not in text)
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Tablet 2:
Enkidu fucks the prostitute for another week
Enkidu learns to wear clothes; humorously women's clothes since they are half the harlot's original outfit. He also learns about bread and booze.
Gilgamesh is going to a wedding to fuck the bride (as is his right) but Enkidu argues and grapples with him in the doorway. Enkidu loses the battle and they make amends by tongue kissing.
Gilgamesh takes his new boyfriend home to see Mom, but the old cow (literal) says he isn't good enough. A journey to chop down a tree guarded by the fire breathing monster Humbaba begins.
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@MK2boogaloo @gentooP I'm going crazy with the Mix 'N Match at Arby's.
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@ArdainianRight @hachi @djsumdog @xianc78 It was a thing in the 1700s at least. The terminology is a very recent invention though.
Zettour
I just want to grill.
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Zettour
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