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1. Zettour (zettour@gearlandia.haus)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 11:18:04 JST Zettour

   in reply to

   • Zettour
   Tablet 2:
   Enkidu fucks the prostitute for another week
   
   Enkidu learns to wear clothes; humorously women's clothes since they are half the harlot's original outfit. He also learns about bread and booze.
   
   Gilgamesh is going to a wedding to fuck the bride (as is his right) but Enkidu argues and grapples with him in the doorway. Enkidu loses the battle and they make amends by tongue kissing.
   
   Gilgamesh takes his new boyfriend home to see Mom, but the old cow (literal) says he isn't good enough. A journey to chop down a tree guarded by the fire breathing monster Humbaba begins.
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   • Zettour (zettour@gearlandia.haus)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 11:18:04 JST Zettour

     in reply to
     Tablet 3:
     Ninsun (Gilgamesh's mother) adopts Enkidu as Gilgamesh's brother, so any future sex stuff is now incest
     
     The god of prophecy tells Gilgamesh his journey is a terrible idea, so Gilgamesh tries bribing her unsuccessfully
     
     Enkidu is clearly going to die based on foreshadowing
     
     Tablet 4:
     Lots of walking and prophetic dreams by Gilgamesh, Enkidu just says they're a good omen repeatedly but he's going to be wrong
     
     Tablet 5:
     Humbaba is reasonably mad that his home in the wooded mountains is being invaded. Upon defeat he asks for his life to be spared and points out the gods are going to be pissed about the whole adventure.
     
     Enkidu convinces Gilgamesh to kill Humbaba and all his kids. Trees are chopped down and stolen from god's mountain to make a gigantic door/raft to bribe that same god into forgiving them for killing Humbaba, who was created to guard the trees.
     
     Enkidu and Gilgamesh are morons (my opinion, not in text)
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   • Zettour (zettour@gearlandia.haus)'s status on Monday, 13-May-2024 11:18:05 JST Zettour
     I'm going to be slightly more cultured than usual and read The Epic of Gilgamesh. I'm just going to list interesting bits, not necessarily in the order of the narrative.
     
     Tablet 1:
     The translator threw in a paragraph not on any tablets just because he didn't like how it flowed. At least these sections are clearly noted.
     
     Gilgamesh is 16'6", 2/3 god, and the perfect ruler. Also he raped every woman in the city and the gods are annoyed by all the complaining women.
     
     Gods created Tarzan (Enkidu) to buttfuck (literally) Gilgamesh into submission. Tarzan was chilling with the animals instead; which pissed off a hunter.
     
     The hunter brings a hooker from the city to fuck Tarzan for a week straight. The truecel animals understandably want nothing to do with Tarzan anymore, so he goes to the city to fight Gilgamesh despite now being in a weakened sex-haver state.
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