Notices by ĐØⱠⱠ (doll@decayable.ink)

Everything China sells is fake. And gay. And potentially pickled.

Galaxies are far, far away.

That's $14mil worth of eggs.

I have a few colleague-friends who are very into astrology. I told one of them that I was a Kettlecorn with Asparagus rising.

I do not wish to 'wake people up.' The species is a lost cause. I seek only to apologize to as many animals as possible for our existence, pick up any trash that I create, and make sure to turn the lights off before I leave.

No one plans to.

I have a custom cover for my 12V outlet in the car that's a big red spring-loaded button that says FIRE MISSILES.

It helps with the road rage.

There is snow on the moon?

Oi, I only made those dollsploitation films to pay my way through uni.

Don't judge me, strange computer man.

Most of them are cheap as fuck, though.

I rewatch the Abridged regularly enough to have cemented it into my lexicon. Dropping those lines in casual conversation adds that extra bit of awkward that any good party needs.

Well isn't that just fucking adorable? 😍

The job market is really heating up.

Perhaps, I didn't check the wiki today.

I have a cropped version, is this better?

You're not the first to say that. It was a custom pfp from @Formerly_Trucks and he's not feeling very art-inclined at the moment, so I'll just switch it to the static image for now.

Or maybe I'll throw a curveball.

Also, do you want the static image or the gif?

Oi, why are you meangirling me tonight? If you need to borrow a tampon use your big girl words and ask.

Actually I did not know that. You'd think I would, what with my newly self-awarded title of Official P Lore Archivist, but we both know I never had any real intention of doing the work that title entails.

I do, however, very much look forward to answering all questions about you with fictional weirdness that I will make up on the spot.