Notices by Thorwegian ❄️ (thor@berserker.town), page 34

this is how they grow them

@thatguyoverthere @locus @amerika @AmpBenzScientist i hate to tell you this but i'm afraid that isn't helping

@thatguyoverthere @locus @amerika @AmpBenzScientist please do not crap on your lawn. it frightens the neighbours.

@amerika hm, so you have to be a bit obsessed with them to spot it, huh

@amerika that's what i meant by "obsessed"

i realise we're geeks, so we assume it's normal to pay such close attention to things, but...

@amerika let's just say i'm very far from being a plant geek, so i'm a bit of a plant normie.

@amerika what i know about how to take care of plants is from observing my mother. dad had zero interest in it.

@amerika i think the traditional attitude is that plants are a lady thing.

it's not that we can't build in the classical European style anymore, but it's expensive. same goes for Roman roads.

space cake

there is very little to suggest that honesty is the best policy.

there is plenty to suggest that lying can carry you through an entire life.

@thatguyoverthere now i wonder what would happen if you stuck a magnetron on the end of a dynamic microphone (essentially a diaphragm that takes air movement and turns it into a small electrical signal)

@thatguyoverthere are you gonna step up the voltage with the magnetrons?

this is a bit of a far fetched idea but who the hell knows - it might just work @thatguyoverthere

@thatguyoverthere you'd have to check the frequency range. but i think it should be fairly high. clock crystals in computers and radios depend on the piezoelectric effect and those operate in the RF range.

@thatguyoverthere yes. but less so than wind blowing directly into the diaphragm. it would have to be tested. and there are means of reducing noise. you can talk fairly quietly into a smartphone in loud traffic and still be heard clearly. people shout into phones out of old habit, to be heard over the noise, but it's actually not necessary anymore.

@thatguyoverthere well, if the plant is making sound, something must be vibrating.

when you want to amplify an acoustic guitar on a stage, you can't use a microphone. the hollow body of the guitar will create feedback almost immediately.

so what you do is stick a piezoelectric sensor to it that picks up the vibrations of the body and turns it into an electrical signal.

maybe you could attach such a sensor to a plant.

@thatguyoverthere the piezoelectric sensor isolates the sound, basically.

@thatguyoverthere they sell those ultrasound devices that listen in on bat signals after all

@thatguyoverthere Kickstarter idea: a little sensor with a speaker that lets you hear the plants speak

i know it's been monitored in a lab, but this would be a product.