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1. pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:28:59 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
   Everyone has the vague idea that cell phones made the world a dumber place, but the reasons why are usually vague. I know the reason: it's because cell phones have radically altered the bathroom.
   
   It used to be possible to roll up a newspaper under your arm and take a one-hour shit in perfect silence. This is when people have their best ideas, the ideas that move all their other ideas forward: when you are doing one thing and that thing is nothing.
   
   That's how it all went sideways, man. Your fuckin' phone buzzes. Is it your side hustle, or is someone spamming you to promote their side hustle? Someone's knocking at the door. Music starts playing: the woman said you were crazy for declaring the waterproof bluetooth shower speaker "an abomination before the Lord", but now she has clicked the wrong shit and some douchebags' fucking podcast about AI startups is stopping you from staring blankly at the wall in peace. An alert on the phone: overdraft fees triggered by microtransactions. The only thoughts you have had in that room for months are about which politicians to kill to bring back peaceful shits.
   
   This is how we used to take dumps back in the day and it was FINE:
   computertoilet.jpg
   • Disinformation Purveyor :verified_think:, † top dog :pedomustdie: and niuulianov like this.
   • Machismo repeated this.
   • احمدابن محمد الخيام (sysrq@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:36:03 JST احمدابن محمد الخيام

     in reply to
     @p
     I don't think on the shitter; I'm more focused on survival.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:36:03 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • احمدابن محمد الخيام
     @sysrq I thought you were younger; once you pass an Age, the bathroom becomes the top place for you to die suddenly.
     Machismo likes this.
   • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts: (lina@eientei.org)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:42:24 JST Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:

     in reply to

     • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:
     @p
   • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts: (lina@eientei.org)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:42:25 JST Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:

     in reply to
     @p doshirak spotted, russai reference
     Machismo repeated this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:42:41 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:
     @lina I was gonna :greenismypepper: the UN helmet corn syrup image only the guy was trying to poop in peace but I went with that image because I love that image.
   • Machismo (zerglingman@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:42:52 JST Machismo

     in reply to

     • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:
     @p @lina Is this a pbort post?
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:44:54 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • Lina Inver:z:e :mur_close: :nuts:
     • Machismo
     @Zerglingman @lina All of my posts are.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:48:08 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 「 Fristi 」
     @fristi I had an old Chevy Lumina. Seated six. You could watch the fuel indicator move when you packed six dudes into it.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:48:11 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 「 Fristi 」
     @fristi I think it depends on the house. Playboy or Popular Science or Reader's Digest (Large Print Edition) or Cosmopolitan or a stack of Haynes manuals.
     
     (A Haynes manual is enough to convert a guy into a car guy.)
     Disinformation Purveyor :verified_think: likes this.
   • 「 Fristi 」 (fristi@akkos.fritu.re)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:48:11 JST 「 Fristi 」

     in reply to
     @p man i wish i still had my first car, i still have the haynes manual for it
     
     The seat malaga, gray and dumb as a brick, but the seats were the best and omfg that system porsche engine was ridiculous for a consumer car.
     Machismo repeated this.
   • 「 Fristi 」 (fristi@akkos.fritu.re)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 19:48:13 JST 「 Fristi 」

     in reply to
     @p fun fact: among the stack of reading materials we used to have in the bathroom, there were manuals and guides for all sorts of stuff. And so much stuff about cars and trucks.
     
     No wonder back then almost every guy was into cars to some degree.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 21:00:46 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • Chineseman 🟥 #nobot
     @IAMAL_PHARIUS Good morning.
     sfpoopmap.png
     † top dog :pedomustdie: likes this.
     Machismo repeated this.
   • Chineseman 🟥 #nobot (iamal_pharius@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 21:00:47 JST Chineseman 🟥 #nobot

     in reply to
     @p gm p man
   • Chineseman 🟥 #nobot (iamal_pharius@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 21:02:41 JST Chineseman 🟥 #nobot

     in reply to
     @p
   •  (mint@ryona.agency)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:07:40 JST 

     in reply to

     • istván
     @p @istvan >I didn't watch normal people take a shit
     This implies you watch abnormal people take a shit.
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:07:41 JST istván

     in reply to

     @p Is this what normal people did?

     If hardcore autistic you were reading video game instruction manuals while firing lightning bolts into the thundermug. ZAP TO THE EXTREME!

   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:07:41 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • istván
     @istvan
     
     > Is this what normal people did?
     
     I didn't watch normal people take a shit, but you go to someone's house and there are books stacked on the back of the toilet and a pile of magazines/newspapers next to it, or if you were super classy, a magazine holder.
     
     > firing lightning bolts into the thundermug.
     
     That's why I am calling it now.
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:11:01 JST istván

     in reply to

     • 

     @mint @p Everyone on the internet has been exposed to that.

      likes this.
   • FrailLeaf (frailleaf@ryona.agency)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:11:46 JST FrailLeaf

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @mint @p @istvan
     image.png
      likes this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:19:15 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @mint @istvan I don't go looking for it, so if I see someone taking a shit, it's safe to just assume that they're abnormal.
      likes this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:21:43 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @istvan @mint I heard DevianTart was folding. Is that where you picked up this drawing, like an office closure sale?
      likes this.
   •  (mint@ryona.agency)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:23:20 JST 

     in reply to

     • istván
     @p @istvan I miss the times when I associated Deviantart with cool Windows themes and not inflatable dragons in diapers.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:23:47 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     • FrailLeaf
     @FrailLeaf @mint @istvan Girls don't poop.
   • FrailLeaf (frailleaf@ryona.agency)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:23:47 JST FrailLeaf

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @p @istvan @mint frekazoid fake news
      likes this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:27:17 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @mint @istvan I had never heard of Deviantart until it started being a website that was mostly about inflatable dragons in diapers watching Sonic the Hedghog molest Tails.
      and Machismo like this.
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:34:44 JST istván

     in reply to

     • 

     @p @mint Are you mad?

     This is Naitsirhc, archnemesis of the first artistic genius of the 21st century, Christine "Christian" Ricardo Weston Chandler.

      likes this.
   •  (mint@ryona.agency)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:34:48 JST 

     in reply to

     • istván
     @p @istvan :tails:
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:38:24 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @istvan @mint I don't know that guy, but I know the other motherfucker.
      likes this.
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:39:02 JST istván

     in reply to

     • 

     @p @mint I don't know. I'll be honest that I'm not that up to date on Sonichu issues.

     It kind of went sideways after Ian Brandon Anderson decided to cut his taint open to make a DIY neovagina. Hard to follow the plot ever since.

      likes this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:39:03 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @istvan @mint Did Naitsirhc fuck his *dad*?
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Sunday, 05-Nov-2023 23:53:10 JST istván

     in reply to

     • 

     @p @mint DeviantArt went online on August 7, 2000.

     ... So... mid-September?

      likes this.
   • istván (istvan@noagendasocial.com)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 00:56:30 JST istván

     in reply to

     • 

     @p @mint On the left: The true and honest Christian Weston Chandler.

     On the right: The malicious troll Ian Brandon Anderson.

     There are a few thousand hours of related YouTube content you can listen to in the background to learn more about these giants of Internet artistry.

      likes this.
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 00:56:31 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 
     • istván
     @istvan @mint I don't know who that is but that sounds awful. I actively avoided the plot and still managed to hear that the guy got arrested for stickin' it to his vegetative-state mom.
   • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘 (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:41 JST 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘

     in reply to

     • Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse
     • LurkPerry
     Here's a reenactment
      likes this.
   • Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse (feralphilosophernc@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:42 JST Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse

     in reply to

     • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘
     • LurkPerry
     :elephant_suck: ?
   • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘 (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:43 JST 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘

     in reply to

     • LurkPerry
     This is how FDR was crippled.
   • LurkPerry (lurkperry@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:44 JST LurkPerry

     in reply to

     • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘
     @Humpleupagus @p I do not miss reading the back of shampoo bottles
   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:44 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘
     • LurkPerry
     @LurkPerry @Humpleupagus People used to have newspapers in there and if you ran out of toilet paper, you could wipe your ass with some politician's face. They didn't look so smug back *then*.
   • 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘 (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 06-Nov-2023 19:45:45 JST 🐘🐘 Humpleupagus 🐘🐘

     in reply to
     Tl;dr cell phones made the shitter shittier. 😏