Notices by Kit Bashir (unixbigot@aus.social)

@jpm I see you have not fitted your crimping tool with the proper googly eyes yet. When you do, will they be carnivore or herbivore placement?

@jpm the question of zoologically appropriate eye placement caused me some thought when I was in a similar situation some years back

@foone WONTFIX

Today I learned that Apple Air Pods Pro in noise cancelling mode perfectly cancels the clicking of a geiger counter. You would not know it was making a sound. I hope that this is not relevant to /your/ day.

“And when we disagree with the politics of another nation we?…”

“Covertly Interfere”

“No, we…”

“ALRIGHT SWEETHEARTS ROLE PLAY SESSION IS OVER. WE ARE GETTING DEPLOYED IMMEDIATELY. ANOTHER FINE DAY IN THE PLANETARY COUNSELLING CORPS!”

“What’s the mission sarge? Is this gonna be a stand-up group session or another bug hunt?”

“This is the real thing, Intern. Defacto planetary empire gone to pot. Nuclear weapons. Regulatory capture. Science denialism. End-stage capitalism. They’re shooting kids in schools”

“Fuck I hate these baby killer planets!”

“Secure that shit, Counsellor, we ship out for this Planet Dirt in ninety minutes”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

@scott @foone BRB designing an ADHD keyboard with a “focus lock” key.

Welcome to RightsMail, the webmail solution that displays your email in a DRM labeled video stream to protect it from AI snoopware.

Sufficiently Advanced Bodging™ is indistinguishable from having used the correct pinout.

This thing I wrote on BirdChan is doing the rounds again there:

🎶I am the very model of an Internet Monopoly,
I Hoover up your data then I model it’s topology,
I influence your buying and your vote with my psychology,
And if you ever twig, you’ll get my insincere apology!🎵

🎶Each time you search the web I make a note in my big database,
Your photo uploads help me guess your weight and recognize your face.
I’ve information detailing each ad you’ve seen and clicked upon,
I even know the username you use on Ashley Madison!🎵

🎶I track you as you surf the web, with magic cookie pixie dust,
I override your Do Not Track, to silently betray your trust.
I’ve even got the DNA, your sister sent to Ancestry,
Oh yes I am the very model of an Internet Monopoly!🎵

@foone maybe one of your temperature sensors is gayer than the rest and gets hotter under the collar as a result?

@foone some companies should not be allowed to have architecture