Notices by phoenix :keeki: (phoenix@amala.schwartzwelt.xyz)
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@dcc I missed the opportunity to make a joke about it.
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Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
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>woman gets butt plug stuck in her rectum
>can’t get it out
>decides to use laxatives
>eats recommended dose of 2 edible laxative chews
>does nothing
>eats 2 more
>nothing
>eats 8 more
>they’re slow acting
>begins to experience GI distress
>comes to the ER
>has massive diarrhea blast
>buttplug rolls onto the floor
>mfw
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@MK2boogaloo it’s the only good thing about the chair force.
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@MK2boogaloo the lack of a father does something to women.
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I remember this one lady whose husband was on deployment and she went from sending him away at the airport straight to my apartment.
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@MK2boogaloo my ex girlfriend? she’s retarded I suppose, she became the manager of a hottopic store in some dying mall. I remember telling my wife about her once and she was like “I’ll bet you $5 that her uncle touched her”.
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She looks like this girl I used to mess with that told me after 2 months of fucking around that she was only going to do anal.
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@YTFoidLover1488 @cwebber that's a male
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mfw I found out my wife wants to get a hysterectomy.
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My political beliefs are whatever makes this mandatory.
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I don’t know where all these stories of insurance claims no longer being denied after dude got killed came from because that’s not the case at all.
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@Tadano retarded and chronically online people are praising the guy as a hero, but he’s done nothing to help improve the system. it’s all gay power fantasies and delusions of grandeur.
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When you’re mean to me online this is who you’re being mean to.
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@MK2boogaloo
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@MK2boogaloo trying to keep that spark before the kids are old enough to walk in on us.
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@MK2boogaloo @creamqueen
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Is it wrong of me to receive a blowjob from my wife a day after giving birth to our second kid if he ain’t even in the room?
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@MK2boogaloo @Tadano @JustJohnny I plan on it once we get past curious George and more classic children’s books.
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@Tadano @JustJohnny @MK2boogaloo she seems to be off in space most of the time, but I like reading Dr Seuss and Arthur.
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- 7 Feb 2023
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phoenix :keeki:
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