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1. fishsticks (fishsticks@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:37:20 JST fishsticks
   I went on several dates with a girl in the last month or two and her life was so busy with various friendships and going out every night. It feels like I've missed out living my entire life. I'm struggling to connect to anyone in real life and college women are literally going out and having fun platonically with tens of people nearly daily. I don't feel like I'm alive and I'm stuck in a loop of suffering with no real way out, only stuck on the side lines occasionally given glimpses of other world's. I'm offered to join the degenerate ones but never the ones that I'd genuinely murder to get into.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:37:19 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @fishsticks I wouldn’t waste time with those girls, they have a hard time settling down, they’re like the chick equivalent of the guy who wants to live like a freshman forever. They can’t settle down, they need the dopamine of social butterflydom.

     Guys don’t really have the luxury of going out like that, we have jobs, and nobody pays our way just to have us around. It’s fine missing out on the “fun nightlife” if you’re grinding at work, because that will yield benefits when you hit your stride, suddenly that world opens up to you.

     Girls hit their stride/peak earlier than we do, so it’s normal to look on at their lives at 23 and feel like you’re missing out. 10 years later, the situation reverses

   • Dr. Rupert, Doctor of Shitpoasting Studies (rupertvonripp@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:40:28 JST Dr. Rupert, Doctor of Shitpoasting Studies

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @fishsticks I couldn't imagine getting along with someone like that. That sort of social thing always drains me worse than hitting the gym and it takes a while to recover afterward, even when it is welcome.
     
     Every night? Egads.
     Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks likes this.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:41:47 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • Dr. Rupert, Doctor of Shitpoasting Studies

     @RupertvonRipp @fishsticks There’s a lot to dislike. I particularly hate their ego, because they project their feminine preference on us. They’ll talk down to you about how they’re a real catch because she’s “fun”, and maintain the idea that you should worship her because she’s “popular”

     “You’re lucky to have me! Everyone loves me! Everyone ALWAYS invites me to their parties!!!!”

   • Dr. Rupert, Doctor of Shitpoasting Studies (rupertvonripp@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:44:24 JST Dr. Rupert, Doctor of Shitpoasting Studies

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @fishsticks Yeah, no thanks. Hard pass. Can't say I ever dated someone like that, glad I never did.
     Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks likes this.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:51:29 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • synapsid

     @synapsid @fishsticks Not as a wagie though. You have to put in the right amount of work where it counts.

     Like, I had a friend who went up to alaska to fly fat indians around when he was a punk with zero prospects. He froze his balls off for a couple years building experience and worked his way up to 208’s. Now, a few years later, he’s working for the airlines, building seniority and making a comfy ~$200k a year. He spent all his “fun” years sitting in lobbies and loading milk in the tundra, complaining that he felt like the whole world passed him by and everyone was having fun without him. When he came back he was 26/27 or so, and there was a college girl in his local parish that took a shine to him and they got 2 kids now.

     Working a register isn’t a good use of time, it’s just survival. Even dogshit work may be valuable if you’re able to network with it. If you operates somewhere people meet you then that could pan out too.

     You just have to have the intelligence to discern which uses of your time are worthy of it.

   • synapsid (synapsid@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:51:30 JST synapsid

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     @WashedOutGundamPilot @fishsticks You’re not wrong, but this ‘oh just wait till you’re 30 bro it gets better then, I promise!’ schpiel isn’t as compelling as you think it is. Saying I have to grind as a wagie for 10+ years just to maybe have a chance at snagging some girl, who, chances more likely than not, has a double digit body count, is not a very stunning endorsement of the ‘wait and grind’ strategy. I understand there’s only so much you can do to up your chances, but c’mon.

   • fishsticks (fishsticks@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:59:53 JST fishsticks

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     @WashedOutGundamPilot I mean for me its less the appeal of a "fun night life" and more the feeling of missing out on having a consistent friend group that actively wants to be around you. I know the standard advice is "just work on yourself and become a person you'd want to be around while joining a bunch of clubs, groups, and get new hobbies" or something like that but I did that for all of high school and middle school which gave me poor results with the type of people I'd want to be around either not existing or just constantly ghosting me/ignoring me. Honestly I probably and still try too hard for people that'll never really care and yet I still miss expectations for myself and what I feel like others want. Idk, it's just frustrating to see men younger than me have social circles that I've been desperately clawing at since I was a kid and seeing disgusting women who put literally no effort into their lives get the same is even more demotivating, even with the knowledge that this is their peak because they're gross whores psychologically. I should just stop complaining about this honestly.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 10:59:53 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @fishsticks You probably missed out on having it so you still idealize it in your head. Once you end up in that circle (unless you possess the aptitude for it, like a high-energy homo) you’ll get tired of it and roll your eyes - “Again? We went out the last 2 nights! I’m tired“ - and then you’ll see it for what it is.

     I think nights out are more sad than anything. It’s people trying to build up a collaborative lie, that they’re having fun, they’re “meeting somebody”, that they’re gonna find their magic soulmate and turn it all around. Going out is like, rolling the gacha for a bf/gf worth a damn, and the drop rates are terrible.

     But, from the outside looking in, when you hear drug-addled horndogs talking up the “best night ever” it’s easy to buy into the hype. I’d give you the same Rx I do most in the zoomers: Build mastery over something and build confidence. Hone something to the point where you can start teaching it to others, and get comfy in your own skin, able to dominate a room and be the “grown up” around the punk kids. Then when you’re in the course of whatever track you’re in, you’ll naturally have people asking to cap off the day with drinks, and before you know it you’ve got a nightlife

   • synapsid (synapsid@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 11:02:22 JST synapsid

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     @WashedOutGundamPilot @fishsticks Is it possible? Sure

     Is it risky? Absolutely

     You have to admit those opportunities are getting fewer and farther between, and the vast majority of young men today are stuck in dead end jobs. The median salary for 20 something men is only around $30,000. You can barely afford a shitbox apartment with that kind of money, trust me, I lived it. I’m not trying to be a doomer because it’s absolutely possible to pull off something like that, but not everyone is going to pull it off successfully.

   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 23-Jan-2023 11:02:22 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • synapsid

     @synapsid @fishsticks I know, this ain’t news. In your position you’re stuck rolling the dice and hoping for someone to give you a leg up.

     I got lucky appealing to good old fashioned boomers with small biz. They still read their own mail and are fairly hands-on. They complain about all the ‘lazy’ kids these days (invariably brown) so lyou know how to impress them already. They’re still easily impressed by “hard work” and a “can-do attitude”