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1. Doc (d0c40r0@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:18:40 JST Doc
   >gf’s mum makes fun of my accent
   >when I leave she goes on a rant about how I don’t speak much and how that’s apparently a huge red flag
   :unimpressed:
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:18:39 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @d0c40r0 Guy…..they might have been trying to bond with you. If they were then it’s a reddish flag because it means her family culture is incompatible w/ your own. We had that same thing happen, guy didn’t last

     Which may not be an ender if you remove her from her clan entirely, but something to consider

   • Doc (d0c40r0@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:24:52 JST Doc

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     I try talking to them and the conversation turns into them parroting me, so I run out of things to say because there’s literally nothing to say when you’re speaking to an echo and then that’s a red flag right there
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:24:52 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @d0c40r0 Bad news then, it might not work in the long run unless your girl dislikes her family and would happily cut them off.

     Seeing this IRL now and in the past, I can’t say it’s ever worked out in anyone I’m close to. The women end up straddling your side and the family’s, every disagreement and fight ends up corroding things between the clans as they’re left out of the make-up process (but always VERY in the know for the fighting part)

     I know of someone going through the same thing and he keeps wanting to end it, his gf keeps taking her mom’s side and trying to exclude him from get-togethers to minimize him “embarrassing her”

   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:31:58 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @d0c40r0 They’ll never do it on logic, you gotta charm your way in. Even if you give her the best life, wealth, kids possible then you’ll change from an outsider to “oh it’s no big deal if he has to work on thanksgiving” stranger.

     Only “coming out of your shell” can turn it around

   • Doc (d0c40r0@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:31:59 JST Doc

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     I know she sides with me, worst case scenario I’ve still got time
     
     It’s gonna work out but it’d be nice if her mother would pull her head out of her ass
   • Doc (d0c40r0@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:39:58 JST Doc

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     Challenge is that theres no way to “come out of my shell” … I’m reserved because I find everyone who is loud to be obnoxious and typically make a fool out of themselves
     
     and they don’t want to hear about any of the half dozen things that get me to actually talk
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:39:58 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @d0c40r0 ……….this sounds like word for word the convo with that other guy goes. Fren’s brother is in the same situation and it’s hair-pulling hearing about it.

     That kid thinks he’s in the right but doesn’t realize he comes off like a sneering, arrogant, holier-than douche to his gf’s family because (oddly enough) he hates their drinking/partying and low-class bearing.

     Even if he’s right about them being trashy….it doesn’t mean he’s a good fit for her fam. And you DO marry their family, especially now when you dont’ even have expensive long-distance calls preventing daily commiseration between your MiL and your whining wife.

     I don’t have too much info on your situation, just letting you know I’ve seen this diagnosis a lot in my life and others and it fails 90% of the time. Can’t think of it working post-internet, because the family can stay in constant contact w/ her and undermine your marriage at every moment

   • Doc (d0c40r0@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:47:56 JST Doc

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     I’ve got enough hope for the time being
     If it turns to shit I’ll talk with her about it, worst comes to worst I’ll live
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 21-Nov-2023 10:47:56 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     @d0c40r0 It’s still salvagable as long as you can turn them around on you. I haven’t had a bad MiL relationship since high school. Being likable isn’t THAT hard if you learn how to treat people….. IME it’s not something you can force, you just come into yourself as you gain experience elsewhere and learn to go easier on your ‘lessers’

     Part of growing up is learning to either find or feign interest in the things that aren’t important to you, but ARE to other people. I’ve learned a lot from exes families like that. Sticking to what you “actually want to talk about” betrays self-centeredness that you’ll have to grow out of just like everyone else.

     Funny you have an accent gulf because that was one of my particularly unhappy MiL’s, her whole family was australian and they really didn’t like me at the time. Saw them at a wedding later and her dad was sad we didn’t work out so you might be better off than you think anyways.

     You guys are building a plane, too so you might have the same money gulf that other guy does. (maybe even be the same guy, since I’m hearing about him via his bro). Being the “rich boy” really hurts some relationships