@Evil_Bender @IgnorantHussy @RupertvonRipp @WashedOutGundamPilot I was on dating sites back before Tinder was a thing. Once had a young lady offer me, unsolicited and in her initial email, a rusty trombone.

Now, I could never kiss this woman. No one who offers such an act to strangers is doing it for the first time. And if you don't know what it is, please do not Google it without preparing yourself for disgust.