Masculinity simply means male servitude, you are not "speaking truth to power" if you distinguish between toxic and other expectations of gendered sacrifice.

Learning how to fight and win is not optional for men, but that is not because of masculinity, rather because of indifference for the well-being of people of the male sex. Few care for the loser male.

Also you failed to point out how "the hard times create strong men" meme has no basis in reality. The warrior caste during feudal times was rich people with leisure time, and the people with hard times, the peasants, became serfs.