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1. Holly Jolly D-Droid (d-droid@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 23-Feb-2023 11:43:26 JST Holly Jolly D-Droid

   • Wormwood
   @Wormwood bro millennial women aren’t gonna make it after menopause
   • Kenny Blankenship (dw2@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 23-Feb-2023 11:43:26 JST Kenny Blankenship

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     @D-Droid @Wormwood You’re more right than you know
   • Jello (jello@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:35:02 JST Jello

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood I already found myself, that's the point.
     
     I'm a very simple person, don't need much. Buying things isn't really my thing, besides basic essentials such as looking and feeling good - that's important, especially as a girl. We value looking attractive - even later in life, looking as good as we can for our age, and taking care of ourselves and our appearance. That doesn't hurt our partners either. Expensive bags and brand name clothing isn't my thing, it's not like that.
     
     I understand your sentiments, I get it. I've thought about it. But I think people have this strange view of becoming older and what they may feel or want - we don't know until we get there. It's like this starry eyed view of an image of us on our death beds reflecting on our past. So, what is that, one day, two days? There's only so long you can do that, feel shame, regret. You can choose to not feel that way, and instead take an approach in life where you don't feel as much regret, and are content and happy with the choices you have made. No regrets, no mistakes - everything is and has been what it was supposed to be. Memories are great - imagine having a bunch of positive, great memories, not including having children. What's wrong with that at the end of the day? Why is it not hypothetically enough?
     
     Also, me finding a fulfilling relationship is easily obtainable. That's just the truth. I know my worth, I'm a confident person, easygoing, funny, easy to be around. Loving, caring, understanding, empathetic. Loyal, responsible, balanced, well-rounded. Attractive and care about my appearance. I'm almost not even ready to get out there and search, I hate the way dating works nowadays, the idea of the search. But I had one other relationship that lasted 10 years - ended on great terms, it's easy to find that again, my standards are just a little higher because I'm at a point where I know myself well and what I want. Which isn't much by the way, just someone equally as normal as I am. No mental issues, basic stuff like that.
     
     Even if hypothetically for whatever reason I don't find that, well, at least I know what I want, or what I wanted. And lived staying true to myself and what I've come to the conclusion is best for me as an individual.
     
     By the time I'm old and get to that point where I'm not healthy and can't enjoy my life the way I used to, I would prefer to kill myself than to feel as though I need to live out life in that way. I would almost rather kill myself before getting to that point, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Let's say my partner dies and I'm on my own - that seems like an easy option to me. I'm not scared of death, nor am I scared of these ideas of regret. Who cares.
     
     Really though, again I understand those sentiments and could argue the same. I get it. I love kids, I know I would be a great parent, I understand that it is a unique fulfilling experience. Again it's just about considering all things, all pros and cons, and coming to a decision. Who knows how I'll feel in the next few years - maybe I'll change my mind based on circumstances, that's how life is, things change and you adapt. I'm aware of both paths and options.
     
     And again, hypothetically, if I get older and can't have kids anymore or whatever it may be, and feel I want kids, well you can still adopt, foster, etc, and feel the same sense of reward, it's just not blood, and the bonding may be different. But at least you could say you were able to experience that aspect of life. Already went over this haha. I just don't think I will get to this point, I'm very confident in leaning more towards no kids - but again, who knows.
     
     There is no shame in living your life for yourself and whoever may be in your social circle, whether it be your partner or hypothetical friends, family. That can be rewarding and fulfilling enough, and being a good, kind, caring to all people you choose to interact with and allow in your sphere. This is a positive thing, not a negative one. Again no shame in that.
   • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad: (eiregoat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:35:02 JST :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • Jello
     - I enjoy spending my time making myself attractive
     
     - I have no trouble finding men
     
     - I can always have child later if I want
     
     - If life gets bad I'll just sudoku, old age is aeons away
     
     I imagine you're a bit older if you had a 10 year relationship, but this reads like the perspective of a teenager. The trouble is that none of those things last. You're not going to look attractive after 40, no matter how much makeup you put on, you're going to have serious trouble finding any men interested in you, you're not going to be able to have children.
     
     You may very well commit suicide, that part is true, and you'll be doing so full of regret.
     
     Just saying you need to think this one through a little more. There can be good reasons for deciding not to have children but "I like travelling too much," isn't one of them.
     Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks likes this.
   • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad: (eiregoat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:35:03 JST :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • Jello
     Ok, so after you spend all this time finding yourself, travelling, buying yourself presents and living a carefree life with a balanced (barren) relationship, what then? What was it all for?
     
     When your life draws to a close, what will you have to look back on? You'll have achieved nothing other than some faded memories with no one to pass them on to or any kind of useful legacy.
     
     Receiving the incredible gift of life and the civilisation your ancestors built then dedicating it purely to your own pleasure is a very selfish choice.
     
     Most likely none of that is going to happen. You're going to hit the wall without having "found yourself" or formed any kind of balanced relationship. Then you'll gradually fade into old age and die unremembered and unmourned.
     Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks likes this.
   • Jello (jello@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:35:04 JST Jello

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     @D-Droid @Wormwood *Warning reading this, I misunderstood the entire meme because I wasn't paying attention fully originally, lol. Also this starts off rough. I can respect and appreciate having children and not having children - it's an individual's choice, I'm not entirely devoted to the idea or choice of one or the other. Personally it's just about considering the pros and cons*
     
     I'm so past the potential delusion, expectations and programming that inspires women to have babies. Like I get it, it's cute - to have this baby to teach and program to be good people. It can be fun too when they're toddlers. But after that point it's like... and during, your life is entirely dedicated to raising these kids. You sacrifice your life to raise another. People have kids so incredibly young, they haven't even had the opportunity to have their own personal journeys and learn all there is to learn about themselves. There is so much value and reward in that.
     
     Not to mention all the stress that comes along with it, people kind of lack foresight or don't care to think about these sorts of things. Kids cost so much too. You are literally sacrificing your life for another. Our lives and time are so precious, it's the most valuable thing of all.
     
     I mean when you really think about it, is it worth having kids in the end. My ideal at this point is just having a great balanced healthy relationship, living comfortably and securely with simple needs, but being able to enjoy life how you feel is for on any given day. Traveling for example - imagine just thinking like, "oh, let's go to so and so!" on a whim, and being able to do that without the restrictions and complications of kids. And being able to financially afford it because all your money isn't going towards your kids. You can also spend money on yourself in these little ways you feel fit without the stress. It's just ultimately the ideal, best way to live life, in my opinion.
     
     Also getting old with kids sucks - it's sad. They feel bad, they don't want to have to interact with you so much. I rather not be that kind of burden. People are scared of dying alone but it sounds like the better option to me. I rather off myself comfortably in peace, without hangups. Having kids in a way is selfish - a lot of people just have kids to fill their time and have something to do, because society expects that of them, and to have people to take care of them when they are old.
     
     If anything, I'd consider fostering at a time that I feel is fit. When you're kind of older and tired. Because having something of value is there, like being a naturally good parental figure - but devoting your life, your youth to that is just next level.
     
     Longposting
     
     For the record I also see the value in becoming a parent. It's just about comparing the two and considering your life and what the most ideal lifestyle would be for you. I'm still an entirely monogamous person - for example, I want that ideal perfect lifetime relationship, and in fact you are more likely to have that without kids, probably. And I value that and romance.
     
     I think having kids for a lot of people makes them feel like they are tethered and trapped to a relationship because of that. Like instead of being good people worthy of having a strong intimate relationship, they feel they need to have kids in order to keep their partners stuck with them. This causes a lot of insecurity in a relationship and issues. Which in turn effects the kids.
     
     Like ultimately you want your kids to be good well-rounded people who can function in society and be responsible, while also knowing there is more to life outside of society and the ways in which it functions. They should know how to be happy and how to have some fun.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:39:58 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Jello

     @Jello @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood You sound like my single, childless career aunt. She always told us about how ‘happy’ and content she was, but she got dementia pretty early in life and she’s been using up all that wonderful retirement lucre to pay third worlders to spongebathe her every day as she constantly asks “when can I go home? When’s mom gonna pick me up?”

     It’s easy to be content when you’re high. Maybe not on drugs, but you’re numbing those bright, chirping warning lights on your brain’s dashboard with something. You’re numbing yourself to reality, pretending all is well because you don’t want to take stock and admit you’re adrift without a plan to actively seek true happiness.

     Oh, all that cool stuff she bought? I tossed it in a landfill. Turns out most of the trash she bought was fast “fashion” nonsense and imported faff nobody wants anymore. But hey, she’s only got 10, maybe even 30 years left to live out her earthly flesh-prison sentence. Our family is quite long-lived, after all.

     You can turn it around at any time, but first you have to honestly come to terms with where you are and say “oh…..I really screwed up in charting my life’s course.” We all do at some point.

   • Christmas Coon (mebigbrain@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:49:31 JST Christmas Coon

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Jello
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @Jello @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood She won't save herself. Somebody has to track her down and put a baby in her.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 03:49:31 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Christmas Coon
     • Jello

     @MeBigbrain @Jello @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood It should be pretty easy to find, if she knows where to look. Something I talk about with guys my age at work is what kind of conditions they’d have to see if a lady just admitted a bankruptcy of life and said “Hey, I fucked up, I want to make a family. I think you’d make a good husband and father, do you wanna make it happen? We both have to do our best“

     Surprisingly, they’re more amenable to it than I’d expect. I mean, I basically was w/ my chick. Went from comfortably single to “oh I guess she’s moving in” in less than a month. I think most guys with some experience in dating are coming into themselves and learning that they have to take active control and captain their lives.

   • Jello (jello@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 04:09:35 JST Jello

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood There is no way I was right about a 50-something year old aunt - was that you yesterday, who told me to stop "glamourizing" las vegas - assuming - as if I'm a programmed sheep, despite me not saying anything about las vegas being glamourous, I didn't even share an opinion on las vegas. I joked that you must be comparing me to your 50-something year old aunt, as if that's the only comparison you can make when it comes to women. Not everyone is your aunt, lol.
     
     Sorry I can't get over how funny that is if true. I think it was you.
     
     I don't particularly like to interact with people who just make false assumptions and judgements of you, it's like they're just trying to attack your character for whatever reason, and reach and try to grab at anything to do so. In other words, it is inherently toxic.
     
     I said I'm a confident person who had the opportunity to have a lot of time to myself to reflect on my past and think about my future. I've had a lot of time to "find myself" and really figure out everything there is to myself and what I want and value. So I'm just confident in saying I know I won't get to a point in my life like that - that's just me, however I know this is an issue other people commonly have. In fact, I'm sure a lot of people who have children may get to a point where they feel the same too, regret, imagining what could have been. That's just the truth and reality of some people's experiences, but everyone is different.
     
     I mean, I don't know what you're on about, I expressed my thoughts and feelings about this and ultimately my ideal plan in a clear and consise way. There is nothing blurry or up in the air about all this for me. The only thing that is up in the air is that I don't know how I'll feel in the next few years - it's possible I may change my mind, both paths are very clear to me, and follow the same plan - which is first finding a forever partner, which is the most important part and aspect to me. I'm a true romantic. So this opens me up to both possibilities and paths, everything is fine.
     
     It's like the only thing a person can say in response to this, especially if you are toxic, is that my eggs will dry out or whatever the hell. No shit right. You guys really want me impregnated, LMAO. Kind of strange.
     
     I appreciate you sharing that story though. Interesting to hear about other people's experiences, and it's certainly something others may find useful in considering. I just understand that type of perspective you know, I get it. Sounds more like the worst thing was that she got dementia. So moral of the story may be to eat your broccoli and cauliflower more than anything.
     
     I mean, wouldn't her situation of been worse off if she had children. That's sad. She would have gotten early dementia either way right. Sounds like she's living her best life despite her circumstances? Better than having your own children bathing you. Keep your dignity.
   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 04:09:35 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Jello

     @Jello @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood There’s no dignity in her life. If it weren’t for the scrutiny and the law, I probably would have helped her off the earth already. Her life is literal prison, constantly surrounded by strangers who don’t care about her, sitting alone and alternating between thinking she’s 7 years old for a doctor’s appointment and brief moments of lucidity asking why they refuse to let her go.

     She’s not the only other one in the family like that, either. We have a lot of people, and the other is taken care of around the clock by everyone pitching in. She’s happy, she’s at home, and even when she doesn’t recognize any of us we’re in a good mood so she doesn’t have to be stressed simply living. She has almost 20 grandchildren that all take turns babysitting at this point, maintaining her dignity as the outgoing matriarch.

     To insist that the careerist has more dignity….. well if you think “professional” care is better than having your family witness your nude, aged from, you’re living a pretty cloistered life. Even the “good” place she’s paying $12k/mo out of pocket for has people shitting the bed and rolling in it for hours on end. I guess smearing feces into bedsores while the guatemalan nurse takes thong pics in the bathroom is much better than your son seeing your flappy old boobs. Much more dignified, and I’m only being a stitch hyperbolic.

     We’ve never spoken, I’m just passing on a lesson I and many more have learned - you should be worried when you pass off stagnation and comfort as the ideal. For all the talk of “well I’ll just die when my time comes”, nobody ever knows how, and by the time you need to be put down you’ll lack any method to do so. You’ll spend years in delirous, terrified confusion as you’re swindled by a parade of somalians, eritreans, puerto ricans, and colombians as they lose their temper and bruise you with every interaction.

     I’m just a stranger but I really do care enough about a faceless person to give you a heads up about the life you might be building for yourself. It’s easy not to see where a path leads if you never look at a map.

   • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 04:30:46 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

     in reply to

     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Jello

     @Jello @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood noooooo stop I can’t take it I’ve heard this all before. Hell, I’ve said this all before, too. Time sneaks up on you though, you have the luxury of feeling this way because you got a bag full o’ ‘youth’ and you feel like the whole world is ahead of you. At some point you’re gonna wake up with a chuckle and say “haha, woah, I’m 30 (even 40 if you managed to party long enough) I don’t even feel that old….” and try to keep pushing the thought away. Then one day it hits you, maybe a few days, a few years later when you have a few days off, and you come to an empty home, to complete silence, and your body just doesn’t feel happy like it used to.

     The stuff you like now, the substitutes you’ve managed to convince yourself are true joy are nothing but placeholders. Synthetics. And they’ll wear off. You’ll just sit there, in the silence, wondering why you don’t feel like you used to. You’ll look at your cool stuff, your nice home, and just realize in that moment you could bulldoze it into a bonfire and feel nothing at all. You won’t care about anything anymore. And then you’ll feel tired, in a way you can’t describe.

     Humans are social, we’re seasonal. There are landmarks and experiences that go with age, and passing those up will leave a tremendous vacuum that no amount of worldly flotsam can truly fill.

     You won’t believe it now, just put all this on the shelf for later when you’re more receptive to a change. Sooner or later, we all get humbled in life, and it’s good to know you usually can turn things around whenever you want to.

   • Jello (jello@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 04:30:47 JST Jello

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood Well that's more about dementia than anything else. Genetics or potentially not taking care of her health as much as she could have. Consuming a little too much of something that could potentially cause dementia, maybe, I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
     
     Respect and appreciate the thoughts.
     
     I mean I've thought about this, I'd probably off myself by the time anything like that happens. I'm not scared of death or the painfree methods you can do to achieve in, later in life, when you feel it is time. It's definitely something people should think about and consider. If you don't think about these things you are more likely to end up like your aunt. But who's even to say they don't enjoy their lives right, it's confusing and sad, but I don't know. I don't know or have experiences with anyone with dementia though, it's a very particular thing.
     
     I'm all about enjoying and living the best life you can while you are young, youthful and capable. I like the idea and sentiment of that. I find it kind of sad to get in to a relationship with someone and near immediately get pregnant and start a family. What about the more fun aspects of bonding together - traveling, just spending a lot of time together, etc. Before you just give your life up to raise kids in the same home, town, work, occasionally traveling as a family maybe once a year if even depending on your financial situation in this day and age. I don't know.
     
     Of course I'm just speaking for myself. I would never tell someone not to have kids or have kids. What do I care. But I'd make sure they are at least aware that there are other options in life than settling down and having kids. Some people feel that that is all there is. We only have our one life, supposedly, at the end of the day. Enjoy it how you feel is fit. Do what you will.
   • Jello (jello@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 06:18:37 JST Jello

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     @WashedOutGundamPilot @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood Yeah I get it. I already sort of feel that way. But I had the opportunity to have a lot of time to myself to figure things out, so I'm a much better person on the end that I'm at. So really I'm at a crucial point moving forward I feel.
     
     Like I said though, the next step is a relationship, that's it really. That can branch out either way. I'm a simple easy person - happiness doesn't come hard for me. I'm content just sitting around or out in nature looking at a tree.
     
     If you get to a point where you truly feel unhappy or like there is no other options in life or you don't feel the desire to move forward, again, I think their is personal dignity in ending it. I think it's important to not get caught up in things outside of yourself - except for your partner, which aligns with what I want in life.
     
     It's important to keep these things you expressed in mind - and I do, it's just not something you want to sit on, living in fear. I live in love baby. It's all very doomful, just lead up to this imaginary hypothetical point where you hypothetically go "oh, I'm sad and tired :("
     
     lol
   • Meat_Mom (meat_mom@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 24-Feb-2023 06:18:37 JST Meat_Mom

     in reply to

     • Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks
     • Wormwood
     • :spinnenrad: Festivegoat :spinnenrad:
     • Jello
     @Jello @WashedOutGundamPilot @Eiregoat @D-Droid @Wormwood If your end goal in life is to kill yourself then you should do it now and spare us and any family members left the long paragraphs.
     Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks likes this.