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@WashedOutGundamPilot I like the analogy, and what you say is true, but the core difference is causing a lot of the issues you describe. In a war, the nest has to be taken, or something bad will happen imminently. In dating, the options presented to young men are "attempt to find a girl in an environment that everyone's saying is dangerous" and "just chill, no pressure, your life choices are your own, man, and you can always wait".
Ultimately, it selects for three kinds of guys:
> The guys with a fanatical religious, ideological, or instinctual drive towards carrying on the bloodline (usually middle-class, usually but not always right-leaning),
> The guys who were born into a high-class milieu where the social fabric still functions (usually upper-class),
> The guys who don't understand the situation they're in (usually lower-class)
We're living through an absolute meatgrinder of a selection event.