"hey babe cheggout your valentime's present"
"ew. Gross, no, please don't I don't wanna look at it"
"too late, overnighted here, your present arrives at 7 am"
"nooooo it's so ugly you didn't really buy it did you?!?!? Say you're joking right now. Please? Say you're joking!"
"I'm gonna sleep in so you ought to set an alarm, it needs an adult signature for the delivery"