Notices by Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social), page 2

@sskg I am kind of, but I develop Inochi2D so

I have been unable to sleep all night because tiddyache, caffeine to the rescue?

In other news, I’m visiting my girlfriend in little over a week and I’m excited. The cuddles must commence!!!!

@lena can’t sugar coat it, it really really sucks.

Reason for saying this, is that a lot of people are very quick to judge people who are struggling with things like this. Just want people to know that a lot of us are probably enduring quite a lot of awful stuff to function properly.

My sleeping meds occasionally makes me get stuck in vivid nightmares where I or people I care about die violently. Which is frankly not fun.

My Anxiety and depression is managed by medicine which makes me constantly feel like I need to vomit, if I’m late taking it I get a 200 ms delay on all my body movements and my vision gets crazy motion blur and I just trip around and am a risk to myself.

ADHD meds I’ve tried ends up making my spasms and neck cracking tics worse.

People need to be more open about these things.

I do however need to make it abundantly clear that nothing will ever truly fix these mental health issues. People like to spout therapy and medication as a cure-all. But the truth is that it’s all tradeoffs; medicines will mess you up in some ways while helping you in others, any advice you get in therapy has to be weighed up against your own mental well being. Nothing comes for free; and finding the right balance takes a lot of time.

As for why I was suffering, it is complicated and spans years. But despite that I’ve decided to forgive the people involved; I don’t think any of the people who have hurt me in the past few years have done so intentionally. I do not think they are bad people. And I do have to take partial responsibility for it too, as it was my own failures to communicate that got it to that point to begin with.

And while I can do nothing to truly solve the mental health issues I deal with (ASD, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety and Depression) I can at least work to outweigh the pros and cons of more things. And that’s the thing I’ve been working on tackling in the background besides healing.

Besides just having recovered from what I assume was a minor food poisoning, I am doing a lot better now than I have been in years. It’s only in hindsight I really see how miserable I’ve constantly felt and how I took it out on others.

But I finally am healing. I’m happy.

The lesson I’ve learned from my experiences are valuable. And now I can finally put my energies in to doing things that make me happy.

ADHD meds or not, I can finally be me, I can finally work on the things I want to without feeling guilt, and I can feel happy without guilt.

My worth is no longer dictated by others. I have the freedom to define my own worth now. And I no longer have to lie to others, or myself.

I really had none of that before. And it broke me.

My biggest regret is the suffering it took to get here, not only my own monumental suffering; but the suffering I inflicted on the people around me. There was frankly no point to doing that. I ended up becoming the bully.

I may not be able to repair the many bridges I’ve burnt over the years, but I can at least strive to find a way to do better.

I have received a new sketch from my new VTuber model mama(TM) and it's so cute

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM EXCITED!!!! uwu

@ami https://github.com/thorehusfeldt/git-paa-dansk

@sodiboo normal Danish term

@sodiboo it is exactly what it means, “circus language”, and its referring to tech terms in general being a clown language, especially borrowed words with Danish grammar thrown at the end

When I say my desk is built like a tank I mean it, it’s a wide motorized standing desk, made with thick stainless steel. Has 2 seperately powered motors for the lifting mechanism and was a nightmare to drag upstairs, even when disassembled

Thing made small dents in the walls.

If you stub your toe on this thing it will hurt like hell, I’m afraid of dragging it downstairs because of what a nightmare it was to get upstairs.

Great desk though, still worried it might crash through the floor some day, though if it does it’ll probably survive—

Not so sure I would though

@breadbin we do have an outdated word for computer; "Mikrodatamat" which tbh sounds fucking cool

I have been made aware of this beautiful repo, “Git in Danish” which aims to make Danish terms for all of the git terms and it’s so ridiculous.

I like when they say: “Be aware that using Danish terminology will result in a significant loss of social status between colleagues”

Best part is how “forking” becomes the literal word for the utensil fork; because in Danish fork as the utensil and forking as splitting something off is 2 different words. They chose the most hilarious one—

(No alt text for this one because it’s all in Danish anyways and it’s 6:52 in the morning, brain not ready to translate Danish humor)

Have started watching the Arknights anime, so far I'm liking it

@gsuberland because it's minced beef

Warning: don’t eat the IKEA beef you can’t trust the swedes to not give you food poisoning-

Also it tastes of nothing