Conversation

Notices

1. Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:16:40 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

   Besides just having recovered from what I assume was a minor food poisoning, I am doing a lot better now than I have been in years. It’s only in hindsight I really see how miserable I’ve constantly felt and how I took it out on others.

   But I finally am healing. I’m happy.

   The lesson I’ve learned from my experiences are valuable. And now I can finally put my energies in to doing things that make me happy.

   ADHD meds or not, I can finally be me, I can finally work on the things I want to without feeling guilt, and I can feel happy without guilt.

   My worth is no longer dictated by others. I have the freedom to define my own worth now. And I no longer have to lie to others, or myself.

   I really had none of that before. And it broke me.

   My biggest regret is the suffering it took to get here, not only my own monumental suffering; but the suffering I inflicted on the people around me. There was frankly no point to doing that. I ended up becoming the bully.

   I may not be able to repair the many bridges I’ve burnt over the years, but I can at least strive to find a way to do better.

   • Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:30:13 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

     in reply to

     As for why I was suffering, it is complicated and spans years. But despite that I’ve decided to forgive the people involved; I don’t think any of the people who have hurt me in the past few years have done so intentionally. I do not think they are bad people. And I do have to take partial responsibility for it too, as it was my own failures to communicate that got it to that point to begin with.

     And while I can do nothing to truly solve the mental health issues I deal with (ASD, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety and Depression) I can at least work to outweigh the pros and cons of more things. And that’s the thing I’ve been working on tackling in the background besides healing.

   • Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:32:54 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

     in reply to

     I do however need to make it abundantly clear that nothing will ever truly fix these mental health issues. People like to spout therapy and medication as a cure-all. But the truth is that it’s all tradeoffs; medicines will mess you up in some ways while helping you in others, any advice you get in therapy has to be weighed up against your own mental well being. Nothing comes for free; and finding the right balance takes a lot of time.

   • Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:35:34 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

     in reply to

     My Anxiety and depression is managed by medicine which makes me constantly feel like I need to vomit, if I’m late taking it I get a 200 ms delay on all my body movements and my vision gets crazy motion blur and I just trip around and am a risk to myself.

     ADHD meds I’ve tried ends up making my spasms and neck cracking tics worse.

     People need to be more open about these things.

   • Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:37:12 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

     in reply to

     My sleeping meds occasionally makes me get stuck in vivid nightmares where I or people I care about die violently. Which is frankly not fun.

   • Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live (lunafoxgirlvt@vt.social)'s status on Sunday, 28-Jul-2024 13:40:37 JST Luna 🇩🇰🦊 //nullptr::live

     in reply to

     Reason for saying this, is that a lot of people are very quick to judge people who are struggling with things like this. Just want people to know that a lot of us are probably enduring quite a lot of awful stuff to function properly.