Just for context, is this the receipt that you're refering to?
https://archive.ph/2023.02.13-224516/https://infosec.exchange/@r000t/109843901476424141
Source: https://mastodon.art/@welshpixie/110815814467223023
It seems that you're not just asking for help, but you said, "help me or I'll commit mass violence" which yes, that doesn't make you a nice person.
Thoughts become words, words become actions. It's good that you stopped at mere words, but you're going to continue to struggle until those bad thoughts of harming others are gone.