Notices by Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st), page 2
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Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:57:26 JST 
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
It's ironic that the "solution" this movement offers is divorce and further loneliness and isolation. It is a shame because it had a lot of potential, one of the slogans was domestic labour is labour, and it did have good intentions with raising awareness to the invisible load of sahms.
But instead of helping women with their invisible labour, instead of helping others help women, it just lashes out.
Here is how to actually help your overwhelmed wife
- make sure she has time to shower and go to the toilet alone without the kids following her, and brush her teeth and eat
- make sure she has a community of other mums
- appreciate what she does and try to notice more of the little things
- make sure there is someone to do her work when she is postpartum, this could be another woman
That is it
You do not need to make a degrading chore chart and ensure you are doing exactly 50/50 all the time as fairplay advocates. Because there are times where that just isn't sustainable, when one partner is sick, when one partner is overwhelmed etc. There are always going to be "unequal" times in a marriage for both parties but that does not matter one bit. Because a marriage is not supposed to be equal. It's supposed to serve God. -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:52:38 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
These women get so caught up in the hardship of running a home that they envy the position of breadwinner. They count every let down from their husbands and hold onto that grudge without considering the possibility: maybe the weaponised incompetence and all the perceived fuck ups is just the fact that your husband is just as burnt out as you
Maybe it isn't your husband causing all this suffering
Maybe you are BOTH drowning
Maybe it is actually the societal atomisation and breakdown of villages and multi-generational homes where more than two people took on this huge load
Maybe it's not a problem with your marriage
Maybe couples were never supposed to do all of this on their own
Maybe, just maybe you are taking it out on the wrong person because he is the only person to support you and it's not enough so you think it must be him but really it's a lack of community, a lack of true traditionalism.
Because maybe it's easier to shit on men than it is to admit there is a wider sickness at play here. -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:52:22 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
So a movement about dividing and conquering domestic tasks together once again has proven to be more tallying and keeping track of everything (because God forbid its not perfectly 50/50 all the time) and as always resentment and divorce follows
But here is the truth of the matter
The reason it seems like men are cruel and they aren't thoughtful to these women is because they expect these men to have the community driven nature of women. Men don't make pinterest boards of birthday gifts for their kids, men don't plan events for their family often and men aren't as bothered by a lot of messes in the house not because they don't care but because they simply aren't wired to do these things. They still love the kids, they just express it in different ways. At the core of this movement women are just angry that men don't care for their families in the same way they do and they attribute malice on their part because their egalitarian mindset blinds them to the fact that the sexes express love in different ways.
A man might not party plan for his sons birthday but he'll spend hours rough housing with the kids to get them tired for bed. He'll keep them entertained while mum gets time to do household tasks in peace. And these women get mad at the fact that this allows them to be the "fun parent" but have they ever considered being the fun one takes discipline in itself, to have a positive disposition for your kids even when you've just come home from work and you are tired. -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:52:15 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
Women routinely get together in these communities to brag about choosing divorce, or the ones that are still married use it to complain about their husbands who they perceive as lazy or not contributing enough to the household. Bringing forward statistics on the fact that women work longer overall and have less leisure time. Viewing their male partners in the worst, most malicious possible light.
And when women try to fight back on these bitter thoughts, when they try to fight off the dark thoughts homemaking can bring when it gets hard, the fairplay women get annoyed. Take this video for instance, a mother is trying to have a positive outlook and not assume malice from her husband and she is shot down -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:51:48 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
It instructs women to address this problem in three steps
1.) communication: express your needs and how you need your husband to help relax the mental load of day to day life
Sounds nice enough right? Well here are the other two steps
2.) "match their energy" if communication doesn't work fairplay tells women "quiet quit" your marriage and be as unpleasant and passive aggressive as possible
3.) straight up divorce. Being a single mother is clearly preferable since having a husband adds a significant amount to the work load right?
This is the reality of this horrendous divorce-pushing movement
-assume malice and intent whenever your husband let's you down
- respond harshly
- break up your family because being a homemaker is hard and lonely because clearly your husband doesn't support you enough -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:51:30 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
It also repeatedly drills into women that their husbands don't really love them.
If your husband gets burnt out doing cheesy family photos, if he doesn't put the effort into enjoy things you enjoy, he must not really love you
Your husband forgot you on the holidays. He doesn't care about you, if he wanted to he would etc
While these things go a long way in making women feel unappreciated or like their husbands aren't trying for them, is that always the case? -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:51:29 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
The overall message goes like this:
>Women have an extreme mental load from managing the household and all that goes into it and are burnt out and suffering as a result, and constantly have to be the ones to consider every thing for the familg
>Men don't take initiative to see what needs to be done and help, instead they force women to micromanage everything and make all the family decisions, even when they offer to help with care tasks they still ask the woman for every direction thus keeping the mental load on her
>women have been made to direct their partners because of this lack of initiative
>men feel they are being nagged by this
They call this theory the "nag paradox"
And the conclusion of this theory is:
>Men don't love and care about their families because they don't observe what needs to be done -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:50:59 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
Fairplay has quite a lot to it in terms of marketing and recruitment. There is an official fairplay book, there's even a fairplay couples card game, and there's also a career field called "fairplay facilitators", these are people who are tasked to preach about fair play to women on social media and offer up fair play in marriage counselling and couples therapies.
The way it works is simple. It accounts for women's mental load in household management and the fact that they are always thinking of things the home needs, things that need to be cleaned and when, and constantly thinking about their children and families (birthdays, appointments, anniversaries, extra curricular activities, clothing sizes etc) the little things like that. It also accounts for the physical labour (actual execution of these domestic tasks). It breaks planning and execution down to I think about 100 tasks and it showcases the invisible work and all the thought and energy that is involved in running a house and making a house a home. Which is why it resonates so deeply with women, especially homemakers.
That alone is a good thing. But then it begins the process of stirring dissatisfaction in women "see the giant list of things you have to do all by yourself everyday, no wonder you are overwhelmed" "you need more support". Okay, fair enough. But then where fairplay begins working in detriment to marriage is it begins to start shitting on the husband for not being that support, for not doing enough to take this load off of his wife. It begins to promote resentment under the guise that as a program it intends too "innocently show men how they can help their stressed out wives"
Sometimes, like in video related, the facilitators will actively seek out depressed homemakers that aren't being helped much and pounce. "you need to advocate for your needs more". Harmless enough right? But how exactly do they intend for you to do this? -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:50:58 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
How fairplay portrays men
There are many terms from the fairplay movement that you might have unknowingly heard before. It coined the term "weaponised incompetence" for example. That recent tiktok trend where women put on a ring or a wedding dress and it flashes to all the added housework they will have to tackle on their own and so the woman decides against marriage, that was started by this movement. Fairplay essentially portrays men as the following things:
-intentionally malicious towards their wives
-lazy and selfish
-deadbeat fathers
-unloving and uncaring people who use the women around them
The facilitators reinforce this narrative by regularly compiling videos of dads not taking care of their children adequately, choosing video gaming over their family, putting their babies in danger etc to fuel women's rage and negative mindsets -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 20-Jan-2023 02:45:29 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
What Is Fairplay?
Fairplay is marketed as a domestic management system to help overwhelmed wives and mothers find time to themselves. The message of fairplay is that a wife and mothers time is just as valuable as anybody else's and that she deserves a break, some rest and leisure just like everybody else - you can understand how an overwhelmed mother with a lot of small children and a lot on her plate would appreciate this.
The secondary message of fairplay is that women deserve love and thought put into them without having to beg their male partners for love - another message that isn't inherently wrong, that would mean a lot to a woman doing a hard job that can be often thankless like stay at home parenting.
But harmful movements often start with identifying real problems and delivering nice sounding messages. Commies are right about workers mistreatment for example, but we all know the solutions it offers harms more than helps. Gay rights movements wrap themselves in a "love is love" coating that sounds lovely until you see what it really is. And we will find the same here -
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋 (theverylutheranhousewife@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 19-Jan-2023 16:55:10 JST
Lutheran Cottagecore Wife ✝️🤱🌿🐸🌻🌱🦋
Fair Play: The dangerous and growing egalitarian cult seducing your stay at home wives that I fear will put the final nail into the coffin of modern marriages everywhere.
In this thread I will break down:
- the way fairplay is perfectly curated to appeal to women, especially overwhelmed mothers and how it propagandizes them by making their problems feel "seen", on a level that greatly surpasses regular feminism
- the promises fairplay makes to women and how it markets itself, how it recruits its shills
- the actual result of fairplay and its true fruits under the promising surface (resentment, divorce, hatred of men and essentially a new growing female version of mgtow) as well as
- brainstorming some solutions to women's stress and problems that don't involve egalitarianism
I will be focusing on one of the most famous "fairplay facilitators" and marriage councellors - @thatdarnchat and her content to demonstrate this.
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