"obese man in camo pajamas says "oh wow it's crazy we don't have ANYBODY joining the military we can barely keep our navy working with a skeleton crew these ships are a total ghost town who knows how to turn things around? We're gonna make military service look cool by advertising on fox and friends!"
Friday: **"okay pukes bomb the fuck out of them who cares if this fans the flames of a hellacious wildfire that will burn out the very last reserves of our rotten empire we're all powerful look how fancy our shit is this fucking missile costs more than their presidental palace there's no way we'll fail"