> so what should I do?

?? Didn't I linked a XMPP client review in my previous reply? It has a table in case of "tl;dr".

> I installed that software from suwako info.

There's other clients (that I think are better) from suwako info. (https://technicalsuwako.moe/blog/xmpp-account-create-way.xhtml)

Pidgin leaks quite a lot of your device's information and timezone, and it's said OMEMO encryption is not well supported.

> should I use IRC? Where's the secure XMPP...?
What do you mean by "secure"? I believe in IRC IP address is visible to every participant unless the server mask them.