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1. 🌲Hidden🌲 (hidden@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:27:47 JST 🌲Hidden🌲
   How do poly people exist don't you guys fucking pair bond
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:27:45 JST mist

     in reply to

     • cinerion
     @cinerion @hidden Me resisting saying the phrase “trans fats”
     Machismo likes this.
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:27:46 JST mist

     in reply to
     @hidden Oxygen atoms typically pair-bond, but carbohydrates are large molecules with many single bonds. Therefore, monogamy in 2023 is a *radical* premise, while polycules are often high in carbohydrates
   • cinerion@den.raccoon.quest's status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:27:46 JST cinerion

     in reply to

     • mist

     @ai@cawfee.club @hidden@cawfee.club polycules are often high in carbohydratesNo wonder polyamorous people tend to be so fat.

   • Machismo (zerglingman@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:28:07 JST Machismo

     in reply to

     • mist
     • cinerion
     @ai @hidden @cinerion Why contain it?
     
     
     
     
     It's cool
   • Machismo (zerglingman@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:30:21 JST Machismo

     in reply to

     • mia
     @mia @hidden Need harem of cute isekai girls
   • mia (mia@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:30:22 JST mia

     in reply to
     @hidden
     
     if you could keep a harem you would, but the logistics are a nightmare, and most the time it's people "willing" because they're otherwise unattractive.
   • mia (mia@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:31:07 JST mia

     in reply to

     • Machismo
     @Zerglingman @hidden
     
     You're saying all I gotta do is get hit by a truck?
   • Machismo (zerglingman@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:31:14 JST Machismo

     in reply to

     • mia
     @mia @hidden Truck-kun onegaiiiiiiiii
   • unlight (unlight@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 11:34:27 JST unlight

     in reply to

     • Machismo
     • mia
     @mia @Zerglingman @hidden
     Truck.mp4
     Machismo likes this.
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:08 JST mist

     in reply to

     • cinerion
     @hidden @cinerion I think we are saying the same thing. I didn't mean "perfect" as in possessing all good qualities, rather "perfect" as in not needing anything, totally completed. I find that "NPCs" tend to be complete in perfectly fitting in. Maybe my personal criterion for "not being an NPC" requires that the person have some kind of angst, some discomfort, something which separates them from society's expectations in some way.
     
     Anyways, I would say that it is only "imperfect" people who need to leap or seek a leaper in the first place.
     
     Testing trust with a small leap and then escalating it is definitely built into our brains. It's why doubling scams are so effective, and why Nigerian princes do often send you a small initial payment.
     
     What you said also reminds me of the main advice I give to people who want to get closer to others. Make yourself available (in time and effort) in small ways - only then can you be someone they consider trusting with the big stuff.
     
     On a related note, I personally feel like it is much easier for people to fall in love if they are also collaborating on something else. Not just because they have something in common, but also because the decision to love becomes a 'doubling down' rather than a random bet on something totally disconnected from anything else. (This is one of many reasons I'm skeptical of apps.)
   • 🌲Hidden🌲 (hidden@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:08 JST 🌲Hidden🌲

     in reply to

     • mist
     • cinerion
     @ai @cinerion Hmm yes very wise. Among the fully domesticated there is no trust and mistrust.
     
     >I personally feel like it is much easier for people to fall in love if they are also collaborating on something else
     
     I've literally never worked with someone on something, this is very interesting!
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:09 JST mist

     in reply to

     • mist
     • cinerion
     @hidden @cinerion In other words, I believe that our evolved mechanism of trust only permits us to trust imperfect individuals
   • 🌲Hidden🌲 (hidden@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:09 JST 🌲Hidden🌲

     in reply to

     • mist
     • cinerion
     @ai @cinerion Hmm I'm not sure, I don't feel like people are perfect, but I feel like trust requires a leap and then a response. You put your trust in someone and they work with you or meet you at your point, and then the bond is built. It seems like people both have no reason to give that faith, and no situations that require it. Perhaps we are saying a similar thing but in a different way.
   • 🌲Hidden🌲 (hidden@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:10 JST 🌲Hidden🌲

     in reply to

     • mist
     @ai Alright I said that after reaeidng like 1 paragraph now I'm atcually reading the article and WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:10 JST mist

     in reply to

     • cinerion
     @hidden @cinerion The article made me appreciate how little trust is required to survive in the modern world. All you need is to trust that, tomorrow, the system and your cushy job will still exist. Is it surprising that people forget how to figure out when to trust each other?
     
     I completely agree with the characterization of relationships as Prisoner's Dilemmas. It's just the math abstraction of "investing in a joint venture with someone who can stab you in the back." The issue lies in needing game theory to help you analyze it, when 100,000 years of human evolution have been trying to teach you how to play
     
     All tribal markers are stigmatized and erased, even while diversity is nominally celebrated. If I look at someone and see a blank slate, a perfect imitation, how can I trust them?
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:11 JST mist

     in reply to
     @hidden I was just reading this semi-related lunacy earlier: https://coveteur.com/is-monogamy-so-out-it-s-kinky
   • 🌲Hidden🌲 (hidden@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:11 JST 🌲Hidden🌲

     in reply to

     • mist
     @ai This kind of disturbs me honestly. I mean I'm not opposed to alternative relationship styles if it's right but I think this trend betrays some deeper lack of ability to dedicate to someone and work through things together
   • mist (ai@cawfee.club)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Nov-2023 13:39:37 JST mist

     in reply to

     • cinerion
     @hidden @cinerion Maybe it's also a consequence of a workaholic culture, where your work is a huge part of your identity. I've mentioned before how I hear about all these hyper-successful academics who are hyper-unsuccessful on the dating apps. They min-max all their skill points into one stat and then their personal life judges them based on everything but that stat. (Dating within the workplace is increasingly stigmatized, of course, and the restrictions are especially severe in academia because many working arrangements are pedagogical to some extent and therefore are understood as a power differential.)
     
     Maybe I'm just saying an uncontroversial sentiment in a workaholic's dialect: it's easier to fall in love with someone if your hopes and dreams are aligned. I'm also thinking of people who go to the same church, even though church isn't really "work" per se.