when i say "we're only pretending to have rules"
well, here's an example
if i punch someone in the face and then leave quickly
how is that rule gonna be enforced? they don't know me. how will they find me? or who i was? the police wasn't there to see it. without enforcement, a rule is largely worthless. and the police rarely has time to enforce all the rules.
i was punched in the face once. i punched back. no police was around. to this day, the police doesn't know this happened. it was person vs person.
life is usually like that. mom or dad isn't coming to save you or offer advice. authority is a thin veneer over the realities of life.