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@PvtProperty @King_Porgi @Shadowbroker2135 @skylar It's always a shame that people just repeat emu war jokes. They're funny, but not when it's the *only* joke you hear. Here's a bunch of dumb things that've happened that I remember.
We had to ban Vegimite in Victorian prisons, to stop the prisoners making booze out of it.
We had bush rangers (like black hat cowboys,) who would hold up entire towns, force them to have fun, get drunk and party at gun point, while they robbed the local bank or train.
We had a bush ranger walking around in full home made plate armour that was only foiled after an unstoppable career because he forgot to armour his legs. He would also march into town, lock the cops in their own jail, and throw a party for the towns folk.
Two of our most important explorers were known to get in such heated arguments about which way to go they'd break out into open violence (William Hovel and Hamilton Hume)
One of our Prime Ministers went fucking missing while swimming at a beach, his body was never found.- So we named a swimming pool after him. Which is popularly referred to as "Dead Harry's."
A vehement anti Hitler European activist named Kisch tried to come to Australia to speak about his experience under Nazi rule, we refused him the opportunity to leave the boat he arrived on, on the grounds that he was probably some kind of faggot commie poofta. So he jumped off the side of the boat and onto the pier, breaking his leg. He then tried to sue us for entry, we told him that a broken leg isn't grounds for immigration.
In the 1890's a group of aussies got so sick of Australia, they left to start a second Australia called New Australia in fucking Paraguay.
We're the nation that started the trend of working 8 hours a day 5 days a week. (sorry mate)
Prime Minister Bob Hawke set the world reccord for fasted beer drinker, by drinking 2 and a half pints in 11 seconds. He then boasted that it's why he was so politically successful.
An Aussie discovered the oldest fossils in the world just sitting in the open in the outback, and no one fucking believed him or was willing to check: Until they were discovered everywhere else.
There are 1 million feral camels in the outback. Saudi Arabia buys our camels for meat and racing animals.
We built the longest fence in the world (5600km / 3500 miles) to keep out dingoes, but called it the Rabbit Proof Fence.
We put Kangaroos and Emus on the coat of arms because they can't walk backwards. That's literally the reason.
We had banned swimming at the beach during the day until after we became a Federation.
When the Sydney Harbour Bridge was being commissioned, a retired cavalry officer on horseback charged forward to cut the ribbon with his sabre. They tied up another ribbon and did the ceremony again. The man was swiftly arrested, sent to a mental hospital, and charged the cost of 1 ribbon.
The initial colonial governments in Australia drank more alcohol than any society ever has in human history, per capita.
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PvtProperty
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