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1. Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈 (gaypharm@queernerds.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:08 JST Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈

   if i get weary of how sex-centric gay culture seems to be, does that make me sex negative? I'd like to think not but I'm starting to wonder.

   • theRICHARDexp (therichardexp@queernerds.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:21:57 JST theRICHARDexp

     in reply to

     • Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey:
     • mybarkingdogs

     @RiversideBryan @gaypharm @mybarkingdogs I don’t think y’all are being prudish, but I also have my own history of prudishness I’ve had to contend with. I think for me the part that gets frustrating or old is how every comment/post can be turned into something sexual even if it wasn’t intended that way. It then makes me question what the original intent was and whether I somehow just didn’t get it. I can innuendo with the best but sometimes a selfie is just a selfie.

   • Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey: (riversidebryan@blahaj.zone)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:00 JST Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey:

     in reply to

     • mybarkingdogs

     @gaypharm@queernerds.social @mybarkingdogs@universeodon.com Same! Very much same. Harmless flirting is one thing, but often, especially online, it is much more than that.
     And IRL I'm having similar experiences. Recently returning to the dating scene after more than a decade, I'm not only out of practice ... but flabbergasted that sex is always the main conversation. 🥴

   • Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈 (gaypharm@queernerds.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:04 JST Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     • Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey:
     • mybarkingdogs

     @RiversideBryan @mybarkingdogs See that's where I'm at. I am on several Discord servers for gay/bi men that are supposed to be about support and conversation, but it seems they always end up being about sex. I don't think I'm a prude but I really start to wonder because I am looking for a deeper connection with people I interact with.

   • Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈 (gaypharm@queernerds.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:05 JST Dan C. 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     • mybarkingdogs

     @mybarkingdogs No, I think you raise good points. This idea that men must be ready for sex at all times and if they aren't it is somehow an indictment on their manhood is a little bit exhausting.

   • Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey: (riversidebryan@blahaj.zone)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:05 JST Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey:

     in reply to

     • mybarkingdogs

     @gaypharm@queernerds.social @mybarkingdogs@universeodon.com
     
     Great conversation. I've often felt the same way. Usually I chalk it up to the upbringing I had, rendering me a bit prudish. But I think it's more than that. Both online and IRL I find the gay community's obsession with sex sex sex exhausting. Is it a generational thing I wonder?
     I mean sex is great, but have you had a conversation about anything else today? This week? Month? Hahaha
     Ugh. I am a prude, aren't I? 🤭🙄

   • mybarkingdogs (mybarkingdogs@universeodon.com)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:07 JST mybarkingdogs

     in reply to

     @gaypharm I don't think it does. I'm tired of it (and can be very critical of it) and I don't consider myself sex-negative as I don't hate on people having consensual, enjoyable sex within safe boundaries, etc.

     I do hate how capitalism and patriarchal gender roles have tried to sell the "if you're a man you must be a roaring sex machine to perform your role and here's all of these optimizations and ideals that must be bought, for a price of course, always money required."

     And how everyone is oversexualized and objectified nonstop etc.

     Maybe that's because I'm more ace-leaning or my original equipment is AFAB or I've never been "sexy" but... it's more like I just feel like sometimes the oversexualization and ability/youth emphasis to the point of fatphobia/ageism/ableism is a whole mess.

     But yeah, you may be talking to the wrong person, too, IDK

   • Aaron 🫖 🖋️ 🏳️‍🌈 (aaronpallan@queernerds.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-May-2023 01:22:22 JST Aaron 🫖 🖋️ 🏳️‍🌈

     in reply to

     • theRICHARDexp
     • Bryan 🏳️‍🌈 Calckey :calckey:
     • mybarkingdogs

     @theRICHARDexp @RiversideBryan @gaypharm @mybarkingdogs I don’t think it makes you prudish. I will say, though, that “queer culture” IS very sex-centric by virtue of a few factors:

     The one thing that brings us all together - our sexual orientation and gender identity - weighs conversation heavily in favour of those two factors.