The constant-threats-to-defederate thing is going to kill this place, seriously.
Defederating an instance is an extreme measure and it should only be taken in extreme circumstances.
Finding out I might stop getting posts from people I explicitly follow because they happen to be on an instance being defederated by mine all because a bunch of admins I don't know got in a spat over a user I don't follow is just about the most annoying value proposition imaginable.