That's it. I'm sick of all this "Board Game Night" bullshit that's going on in the polycule right now. Barcades deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself visited a genuine barcade in the big city for $120 (that's about 500 quarters) and have been practicing at it for almost 2 years now. I can even reach the kill screen on Pac-Man with a beer in both hands.

Millennial brewers spend years working on a single IPA and add hops up to a million times to produce the finest craft brews known to mankind.

Barcades are thrice as entertaining as board games and thrice as intellectually stimulating for that matter too. Anyone Ticket to Ride can entertain, Marvel vs Capcom can entertain better. I'm pretty sure a barcade could easily mend my parents' broken marriage a simple Thirsty Thursday.

Ever wonder why Millennials never bothered taking power? That's right, they were too reluctant to leave their kickass barcades and their IPAs of awesomeness. Even in the Second Zoomer–Millennial War, Zoomer soldiers targeted the men at the barcades first because their Nintendo Power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Barcades are simply the best places that the world has ever seen, and thus, require more focus in our regular gatherings. Here is the schedule I propose for the polycule:

Sunday: Barcading 10 AM-10 PM
M-Th: Barcading 5 PM-10 PM
Friday: Barcading 5 PM-2 AM
Saturday: Barcading 9 AM-2 AM

Now that seems a lot more representative of the appeal of barcades in our lives, don't you think?

tl;dr = The polycule needs to spend more time at barcades, see my new schedule.