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1. nixCraft 🐧 (nixcraft@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 19-Dec-2024 21:38:47 JST nixCraft 🐧

   Times are tough, and the job market is hard right now. Both UDP and TCP are applying for the same job position in a big data centre to manage Linus servers. The interviewer asks, "What's your biggest weakness?" UDP says, "I have no follow-through." TCP says, "I overthink everything and need constant reassurance for all my tasks." The job interviewer, HR PERSON, hires UDP for his "go-getter" attitude.

   • Pedro Machado Santa (pedrosanta@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 19-Dec-2024 21:41:33 JST Pedro Machado Santa

     in reply to

     @nixCraft I want to see a "how it started, how it's going" follow up to this one.

   • Isaac (idropyou@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 19-Dec-2024 21:56:06 JST Isaac

     in reply to

     @nixCraft Had a fun one recently; don't have enough chars to explain it all.

     1) security logs sent to systems via UDP
     2) processes are single-threaded
     3) Very bad matching regex, procs use up entire core each
     4) billions of security events dropped and lost
     5) Q to me "how do we scale this up?"
     6) Answer: Why UDP? Why are you using 16 cores on a ton of machines? This isn't normal. And, you could use more UDP buffers for bursts.
     7) Oh, we found some bad matching regex.
     8) No more dropped events

   • Psycodepath (psycodepath@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 19-Dec-2024 21:56:13 JST Psycodepath

     in reply to

     @nixCraft tired: use TCP
     wired: use UDP and your own proprietary retry policy