Arcana@grumpy Agreed. That is something we have had to learn. The times we apologize—and hope others will—are times we know we/they are at fault. And that happens, even with the best of friends or partners!
But people who hate you for a part of your identity are going to hate you again no matter how many times you reach back out until they finally learn acceptance. We have learned to be more and more accepting over the years. It has made us better people. But we are also open-minded and inquisitive by nature, and acceptance of others who are not abusive has become a mission of ours—as has protecting and advocating for the rights of survivors of abuse like ourselves.
If someone has truly abused you, it is never worth reaching out to them to “patch things up”, from my perspective. Even if they learn to become a good person—and that can happen, although we have never seen it with serial abusers, which makes sense because their right to abuse others has become part of their ideology—they are not worth interacting with. That relationship will forever remain tainted by their abuse. This is merely my observation, of course; but I have never known it not to be the case.
Matters of attraction and identity are often portrayed by mainstream news and social media in general as some nefarious thing people have to combat with “love”. Our headmates desire no such gestures of mandatory kindness for those who are “mentally ill” disguised as love. Our love of 2D characters and identification with them is similarly part of who we are; so those who believe that animesexuality, animeromanticism, and fictives are “fake” are not welcomed by us either. People like that can fuck right off. If it helps folks sleep at night to feel like they tried to be “nice” to us without understanding, they are fools and deserve no place in our lives.
/Tanya
grμmpy (pawoo expert)
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