i never really realized just how much my sanity benefits from believing that everyone around me are animals.

it's unfathomable how what an organism defined by its autonomy, adaptability, ingenuity, and indomitability act the way they do, in the world they live in, and determine their survivability.

even those who hate me can't even deny the subhuman traits that i point out in them. i still remember that one faggot on twitter running some lolicon L's shit, and when i point out he spends more of his time furious at lolicons than on his main account enjoying shit that he would normally and usually like, he wasn't able to comprehend his behavior despite recognizing it when it was pointed out, for one example, as if talking to a cat that doesn't recognize eating plants makes it have the shits and vomits yet continues to eat them.

maybe it's a slippery slope into believing that those who's lesser should be treated like shit, but the fact that something as basic of a fact like that was denied and claimed to be false was something that drove me slowly into madness, unable to fathom the hundreds of different and often contradicting "explanations" and "psychological theories" as reasons why that one simple statement isn't "necessarily true."

thinking about it all now, i would've preferred to believe all humans are animals more than that they're remotely as complex as humans make themselves to be, to excuse themselves from some of their abhorrent behaviors. at the very least, it's sane, and it doesn't destroy hope in the way that treating humans as nuanced would -- that somehow, there's innumerable reasons why they're all pieces of shit, that they can't be helped, and that it's "our" (read: not their) responsibility to love them in spite of their unmalleable flaws that are very much subject to change by their free will that isn't *that* free when it conveniences them -- whereas the acceptance that there's simply human-shaped animals that exist in society doesn't imply that genuine humans are fated to be like the animals around them.

as furious and disgusted as i would be if i genuinely believed that, it would've freed my time to actually decide if being this repulsed by reality is genuinely worth my time or not, and move on with my life.