Japanese cargo cult

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1. Rasterman (rasterman@detroitriotcity.com)'s status on Friday, 28-Apr-2023 13:08:16 JST Rasterman

   in reply to
   Onto Mega Man Zero 3. Here's where the story gets so ridiculously stupid that the previous two games might have been made by Interplay by comparison.
   
   A giant machine falls from space. You're sent to investigate (this time Zero didn't leave for no reason after the end of the game). You track it down to a room where the three guardians (one blew up in MMZ1 and never came back) are fighting a giant robot with a sword. They leave and you fight it and win, but it's not over yet, so it leaves.
   
   Ciel has finished her magical solution to the energy crisis and sends it to Neo Arcadia as a peace offering. But reasons happen and the game doesn't end right there during the intro, as it should. No, there's a NEW Copy X that rules over Neo Arcadia. One that speaks in stutters, as if it was malfunctioning. And its advisor is a robot-looking old man named Dr. Weil. Get it? Like Dr. Wily but different but still makes you think of Wily? EH? GET IT, FAGGOT? Anyway, Dr. Weil is clearly evil and the three guardians obey this obviously bad new Copy X because they are retarded.
   
   Dr. Weil created the giant robot from the intro, Omega. A robot that "warps reality just by existing in it" and that manifests itself as doors to the "cyber world" which is just a green version of the stage you're visiting where you get some extra bonuses and can't find secret disks which contain lore and more cyber elves. So basically, they introduce a new mechanic and immediately punish you if you dare use it. It also hurts your score at the end of a level. So forget I said anything about a cyber world.
   
   This Dr. Weil created Omega but also "cursed" the Mother Elf who created all cyber elves, turning her into the Dark Elf. Japanese plot twist, it wasn't two cyber elves, but one and the same all along. He was punished because of his crime by 8 judges who decided he'd be exiled from Neo Arcadia and sent to space along with his incredibly powerful giant robot because everyone is retarded. Weil came back and turned the 8 judges into monsters which are the 8 bosses in the game. Still with three elements.
   
   Every time they drop lore, it all gets stupider. The guardians are made from "X's DNA". Which DNA!? X is a reploid. It's like cargo cult mentality from the Japs who made the game. Just throw sciency words out there and people will think we're clever.
   
   Also, Dr. Weil had a plan all along called "project Elpizo" to take over Neo Arcadia, but Elpizo was just some guy at first and seemingly got corrupted by the Dark Elf he himself looked for. Weil is playing 8D underwater backgammon like Trump but for real. Or the Japs make it all up as they go.