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1. Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks (washedoutgundampilot@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 30-Mar-2023 00:51:00 JST Woggy's Zeonic Frolicks

   A wonderful piece of advice from my dad was that your marriage is a two-man crew, a united front that shows complete unity to everyone outside of it.

   Sure, that’s probably fairly idealistic, but just having that frame of mind helps to catch your tongue before you go slogging on your spouse to outsiders. Just think of this death spiral, a totally common one that many fall into today:

   Disagreement turns to argument wife goes off to vent to her mom, sisters, friends Tempers cool and hubby & her reconvene, apologize, and repair things

   Oops! All her contacts were left out of the healing process! Their concrete is cracked, and the flaw lays open to the elements once again. Every time this cycle repeats, she’s dumping saltwater into the crack, letting it freeze over and worsen with each disagreement. Each time, she’s back to normal, even better than before as she grows and deepens the relationship w/ her guy.

   But her mom, her sister, her friend aren’t. Instead, they accumulate grudges, one argument after another, one point of loathing and contention at a time. Then the real damage starts. They constantly remind the wife of all his failings, constantly bring up things they never forgave him for as proof she can “do better”, as evidence that she deserves to roll the dice anew.

   It’s awful because they might even have her interests at heart - they just have a grossly uncharitable and inaccurate view of the man because they only ever hear of the bad, never the good.