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1. Captain Retard (humonguschungus@poa.st)'s status on Saturday, 14-Sep-2024 13:09:08 JST Captain Retard
   Alright friends
   This is Captain Retard who has been alerted by the voices in his head that you are slowly losing comprehension of reality due to an attack on everyone from an unknown alien species
   These cocksuckers originate from outside the universe and will disintegrate your mind for all eternity of you take Alzheimer's medication
   Go to your drug man and buy your favorite drug
   It will partially restore some of your mental functioning
   Don't forget to buy multivitamins because they are cheaper than crack cocaine in seventeenth century Germany
   If you eat food it will fucking have no god damn nutrition in it and homemade potato chips from nineteen forty fries in lard have more nutrition than a fresh apple from a tree
   Stay away from mind control drugs
   Get drunk
   Smoke weed
   Smoke crack
   Don't trust anyone
   Spies are everywhere
   Eat your vitamin gummies