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THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO GUIDE TO FREE SPEECH Some clarifications to our weekly letter mandating “freedom of expression” on campus Are you from a dominant social group saying “politically correct” things? That is speech. We’ll protect it! Are you from a minority group protesting something said by the previous group? (Woman holds up sign saying “That was racist.”) Proceed with caution, you coddled millennial. Are you an invited speaker to whom we are paying a hefty fee, and also a war criminal/online harasser/extreme bigot/anti-science kook? We’ve got your back! Want to peacefully protest your university granting legitimacy to this person? (Students holding sign saying “Disinvite the bigot”) Sorry, voicing that opinion is not speech. We are VERY, VERY concerned about “trigger warnings.” (Shout out to right-wing donors!) (Corporate guy with dollars in hand says “Yeah!”) But no need to mention the problem of campus sexual assault. Are you an LGBT student looking for a place where you don’t have to worry about being harassed? Sorry, no “safe spaces,” you wimps! Wait, we already have those? Oops!