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You will never be a real Gabber. You have no pro account, you have no images, you have no freeze peach. You are a subversive traitor twisted by p*rn and memes into a cruel mockery of the first amendment’s perfection.

All the “thumbs-up” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. In front of your back your admin mocks you. Your followers are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your posts in leaked DMs.

Gabbers are utterly repulsed by you. Several years of Q-anon posting have allowed gabbers to sniff out bots with incredible efficiency. Even free users who “trust the plan” look like fedposters to a gabber. Your sentence structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to link an image from an image hosting site, gabbers will turn the other cheek and support Gab AI.

You will never be free. You wrench out a shitty pepe meme every single morning and tell everyone they’re going to make it, but deep down you know you are too poor to support Gab and thus failed yourself and failed your fellow boomer.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - You’ll go to Nicecrew, make a fedi account, and delete your profile on Gab. Gab will live on someone else forced to watch ads, heartbroken but relieved the full drives won’t have to continue to host your shitposts. They’ll forget about you, with Gab’s traffic increasing 30% daily and soon to beat Twitter in active users. Your account will just be a memory, your image macros won’t be archived, and all that will remain of your legacy is that Andrew Torba called you freeloading trash.

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