Notices by Neptune the Thigh Squisher (thighsquisher@freak.university)

#introduction, cw: scat/pee mention

Hi! I'm Neptune, a genderless MAP who is attracted to basically everyone.

I've been sexual since I was 5 years old at least, I had vivid memories of perving on other kids at the pool, in class, or around my neighborhood (or in the bathroom, as pee/scat were my earliest fetishes from this time). I was reading and writing erotica since I was 7 and had access to porn around them. I had major crushes on my teachers too, and often fantasized about sex with them or about them helping me have sex with other kids. I hung out in online chat rooms with pedos (most of whom were very nice and noncoercive) to get sex ed. I didn't have a camera so I would pose naked on my bed or in front of a mirror to pretend I was taking pictures of myself to share. I quickly identified as bisexual (now pansexual) at around age 7 or 8.

Unfortunately my parents, teachers, counselors, and other adults didn't understand how to handle that and I got shamed and yelled at doing "inappropriate" things. Similarly I didn't get taught consent boundaries beyond "don't do any of that", which led me to do some behaviors I understand now to be harassment. I feel guilty for it to this day, even knowing that I should've been taught better. Maybe that's one way that society abuses children by not teaching consent and boundaries from an early age. It might also explain why I feel like I'm still around 12 years old mentally.

My attraction to children never changed. When you fall in love at 5 with other kids that's who you learn to love. I don't feel any shame over it, but I also remain firmly closeted in my pedophilia, including from my spouse. It comes from a place of genuinely loving being around kids and treating kids like people and respecting their wishes and desires.

I have never harmed a child and I never will.

I would love to live in a society where the stigmas around children's innate sexuality were lifted and kids could explore it as they chose, with strong emphasis on consent. We have seen the incredible healing power that removing this stigmas around queer children and trans children has had. There are absolutely millions of children who want to explore their bodies. Finding the MAP community has given me hope that this might happen one day.

About me, I'm in my 30s and am agender leaning fem most days and occasionally masc. I am largely asexual but also incredibly horny all the time (though I'm not here to hornypost). I have a lot of kinks, which I will always post with a CW. I am a leftist who wants to destroy capitalism and its destructive effects on our world, our lives, and our well-being.

I'm very new to the MAP world and still learning the words and rules around here, so please be patient with me if I say something wrong or offend. I'm happy to learn from my mistakes. I do NOT want illegal content sent to me, I'm not here to get arrested. I'm here to get these thoughts untrapped from my brain, in case others feel the same way and find it.

I hope we can live in a world where kids can be as sexual as they want to be without stigma and abuse from adults. Thanks for reading!

#introduction #map #aam