Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social), page 5

BREAKING NEWS: Twitter users are stunned that Elon Musk, a billionaire who hoards billions of dollars, cares more about making money than he does about catering to their weird ideological beliefs.

Journalists: Mastodon seems great...BUT CAN IT SCALE?

*A few months go by. Mastodon gains millions of new accounts. Everything is still fine.*

Journalists: Mastodon seems great...BUT CAN IT SCALE?

"The fediverse isn't profitable"

Actually, the fediverse is a great place for artists and creators to find support for work they are passionate about and pour their soul into. It's just not profitable for multi-million dollar corporations that want to fill the pockets of already far too wealthy execs.

Don't get old.
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Yes we have had 146 mass shootings this year, but have you considered how bad things would be WITHOUT all the thoughts and prayers? We would have:

-Super cancer.
-Spiders with chainsaw legs.
-Babies being born with full sets of adult teeth.
-Golden Retrievers going extinct.
-The same number of mass shootings but they were all done by Keanu Reeves, the celebrity we love and trust the most.

I love cats.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

This is why you should learn to resist peer pressure.
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Harsh.
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Let's work together to make Mastodon a success. Here's some simple things you can do to help:

-Pretend that other social media platforms don't exist. If someone mentions Twitter or Facebook, change the subject by looking up to the sky and screeching loudly.

-Make new users feel welcome by messaging them and saying "I would do unspeakable things to benefit you".

-Get the word "Mastodon" tattooed onto your forehead. When asked about your terrible life decision, you can explain what Mastodon is.

Heavier than I expected.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

On an unrelated note, I am moving to Taiwan.
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Geography is so interesting.
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I hate Trump as much as the next guy, but this is pretty cool.
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Incredible.
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How ironic.
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Friendly reminder to stop asking small content creators why they deserve a dollar a month and to start asking billionaires why they deserve billions of dollars.
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Took me a second to realize these textbooks aren't laughing out loud at obesity.

Impressive, but creepy.
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