Notices by Melissa G (melissagreen@chaosfem.tw)

FYI. if you are a trans person without a passport in your correct gender, seems like US Passport Office is turning around expedited passport requests in less than two weeks right now. Get that passport if you can. I can't understate the value of official government ID in your correct gender.

#Trans

Transition takes a while - 3. maybe 5 years. sometimes longer. Everyone has a different path and a different schedule, but here is my advice to you.

No not you, the transitioner... YOU. the person who knows someone who is transitioning:

You are super lucky. You have the opportunity to watch a friend or loved one grow into themselves, physically, mentally, emotionally. You can watch them open up, become themselves, literally COME ALIVE before your eyes in ways you might not have thought possible.

And it is beautiful. One of the most beautiful journeys a person can take. The journey to Themself. Not a mystical island. Not a distant city. Themself. You get to watch that. And support it. And be there for them.

There is profound beauty to the trans experience. Beauty and joy. A thousand tiny ohs that lead to a whole person.

And you can be there, holding their hand.

#trans

Being trans and closeted means looking in the mirror every day and watching someone else grow old there. Waiting for time to pass. Your eyes go dead, your smiles are hollow. Your wife asks you why you are depressed and you can't say the words. Not to her, not to your therapist, not to anyone. Once they are spoken they can't be unsaid. They burn down everything. /2

Being trans means at some point the shell wears thin, the words get said, once, to yourself, twice to a friend, eventually to those you love. You fall into space. If you are very lucky, hands catch you. I got lucky. I was caught and held, first by my wife, then my family, and friends. Only my parents stood by as I fell from their view. /3

Being trans means knowing that one day long after you are dead, should your story be told, a bitter and wrinkled voice will say "She wasn't a woman", but it won't matter, because everyone you loved and everyone who ever truly loved you knew who you were, and that can never be taken away. /fin

I wrote this for Pride last year, and I've been thinking about it, so resharing here.

Being trans means growing up knowing that words run through your core that can never be said. It means building a shell around those words, and knowing that this shell is all people want from you. It is watching yourself die inside as you live in a way that makes others comfortable. If these things sound familiar, you are probably gay, or trans, or some other flavor of queer. /1

#trans

As trans people, we grow our skins so thick. Armor to protect the tiny seed within. The final shedding of that armor, the last time we hide, that’s the hardest, most vulnerable moment of all. And yet, when the skin grows back soft, when we finally stand and look the world in the eye… what a moment that is. /3

It is no coincidence that the points in our lives where we grow the most are also moments of total vulnerability. They can be trauma or joy, wonder or loss, but in those instants we shed our skin and start anew. /1

#trans

Kissing a girl on a sofa. Holding my eldest child for the first time. Admitting to myself that I had to transition. Accepting that a business we had run for 15 years just wasn’t going to make it. Coming out to my parents and being rejected. Coming out to the world and receiving so much joy. Living. Growing.

Each time a leap of faith. Each moment held in a breath, and then, exhale, move on, this is who we are now.

/2