Notices by Bella (bellamazz@mastodon.bellamazz.com)

Eight months before, I had seen a green dress at a yard sale. I left it there because I was downright scared of what my parents might say if they found out. I had been made fun of for painting my nails, wearing pink, you name it. I would have looked so pretty in that dress.

When I first told them I thought I might be trans, they were sure I just enjoyed crossdressing. When I came out to them, I was told I should reconsider my "decision."

Today I told them that I started hormones. At 21 years old, and having thought about this plenty, I "need to think about it more first" and "should wait." Do you see how long my hair is? Do you remember when I painted my nails? Do you remember when you made fun of me for wearing princess costumes when I was little? I do.

Whether my parents accept it or not, this has been a long time coming.

I remember crying at Urban Outfitters having to pick out boy clothes. That was in 2021. It was all there in front of me. I could not begin to see it until I lived in an environment that let me be myself. My time in college has sucked, but it had to happen. Now I live in Ann Arbor full-time, more than a thousand miles from my parents. I am only starting to learn who I really am.

My parents are concerned hormones will alter my mental health and make me drop out of school, or that I will "change my mind," or that I am making some sort of rash decision.

My mental health has been terrible since I started college. For years I have struggled to put the pieces together. What was wrong with me? Why was I spending my time in college in and out of the hospital for suicidal ideation?

All the while I am being made a political wedge issue. If you have not already picked up on it, my parents are parroting slightly watered-down versions of conservative talking points on trans kids. That kids "desist," that doctors hand prescriptions out with reckless disregard, that mental health issues are to blame, and that these treatments are somehow experimental.

🧵
I don't usually post personal stuff on here, but this is the only social media I have where I'm sure my parents won't see/hear about my posts.

My parents are "accepting" of my gender identity and #lgbtq / #trans people in general. But they're the type who are shocked when it turns out to be their kid.

When I first broached the subject to my parents, I was maybe 8 months into my egg-cracking adventure.