Notices by Bungler (bungler@cawfee.club)
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Vampire Wife FAQ
1. Will sunlight harm my vampire wife?
No, sunlight does not "harm" your vampire wife. Vampires avoid sunlight because they are autistic. Your vampire wife is autistic. Bright lights & heat bother her. Also, she lacks the social skills to deal with unfamiliar people. Most people are asleep at night, so that's when she goes outside. Since no one is around at night, no one will laugh at her frilly gothloli dresses, which she wears because she is autistic. Your vampire wife does not like being laughed at.
2. Does my vampire wife need to drink blood to survive? Can she eat human food?
No, your vampire wife does not need to drink or eat anything to survive, she's immortal, that doesn't make any sense. Your vampire wife can eat human food just fine, although she will be a picky eater, because she is autistic. She will most likely be partial to tea & pastries (the pastries will not make her fat, because she is a vampire). She only drinks blood because she likes the taste & it powers her magic.
3. Is my vampire wife weak to garlic?
No, but the smell & taste of it really bother her due to her autism.
3. Why does my vampire wife sleep in a coffin?
Your vampire wife is autistic, lights & little noises irritate her, making it difficult for her to sleep. Inside of the coffin is perfectly dark & the coffin's padding is filled with sound-absorbing foam giving her a reduced-stimulus environment that allows her to peacefully drift off to sleep.
4. Why does my vampire wife wear a cape?
Your vampire wife's "cape" is actually a stylish weighted blanket, of the sort autistic people find comfortable. This is why she sleeps with it in her coffin at night. She can also raise it up as a shield to protect her eyes from streetlamps, & other sorts of bright lights that cause stimulus-overload in autistic people (such as vampires).
5. I work days, but my vampire wife is only awake at night. How can I spend more time with her?
Quit your job. Your vampire wife can use her hypnotic eyes to make rich people give her money. The older she is the more of a fortune she will have amassed. It's not good to sleep nights when your vampire wife's autism won't let her be awake during the day. She may act distant at times, & go for long walks in cemeteries by herself. This is because the proximity of other people is difficult for her to handle, due to her being autistic. Sometimes she needs a break from people. But she doesn't want to always be alone; she gets lonely. She wants to be with you, & spend time with you. It's why she married you. Spend time with your vampire wife.
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@domino Man who thought he knew how bad things are discovers things are worse than he thought.
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@romin @coolboymew
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@hidden
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I think 2hus can shoot danmaku bc they have a special "danmaku organ" located in the abdominal cavity that lets them shoot them, it also gives them levity so they can fly. Reimu had a defective danmaku organ in the PC-98 games which is why she needed to fly on genji but could still shoot them. she had surgery right before EoSD to enable her to fly on her own
also I think witches have a witch-organ that enables them to do magic, I think it would be real funny if Battler threw a ball at Erika & it hit her in her ribcage & she were to fall over & clutch her side & cry "ow! my witch-organ!" then she tries to do magic to get revenge on Battler but bc her witch-organ is ruptured the spell backfires & she explodes
this would imply that Marisa has both a danmaku-organ & a witch-organ; however, bc she needs the broom to fly, her danmaku might be magic, not natural, meaning she might not have a danmaku-organ at-all
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that heartbreaking moments when you meet a guy who shares all of your opinions but it turns out he's an awful person so you have to kill him
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I sometimes wonder how long it will be until microplastics are visible. Until they form a weird haze that dims the sky, or manifest as a thin film on objects. Will ppl one day hack & cough in the microplastic dust-storms? Is this what the post-apocalypse looks like?
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Oh boy, oh boy!" said Hana-chan, jumping up & down. "Oh boy, onii-chan's coming to visit! Oh boy! Oh boy!" She got so excited her heart exploded, & she dropped dead on the floor.
"Daisuke-kun," said Takemaru, their dad, at the funeral. "I'm sorry ... it's my fault. I was supposed to inject her with the drug & then tell her the good news, but she overheard me talking on the phone ... " He burst into tears.
Daisuke hugged his father. "Dad ... it's not your fault. I ... "
"It's all your fault," said Suiko, rushing into the room with her hair down & disheveled, & holding a samurai-knife. "You killed my little girl!"
"Mom," said Daisuke. "Hold up ... "
She stabbed Daisuke in the heart before anyone could react.
He lay there dying, in a puddle of his own gore. The world seemed a field of snow lost in mists unfolding forever in white.
"I guess it was my fault, huh?" he thought.
"No it wasn't."
He turned his head to see his imouto standing over him.
"Hana-chan. You're alive." A smile touched his face, & tears poured from his eyes. "I'm so glad ... "
She smiled warmly. "No, onii-chan. We're both dead. But don't worry." She ghost-hugged him. "Now we get to be together forever."
He hugged her back. "Hana ... for heaven or hell, so long as we have each other, everything will be alright."
"Oh, onii-chan, don't worry. We're not going to heaven or hell. C'mon." She began dragging his soul elsewhere.
"Huh?" said Daisuke. "W-wait, where are we going ... "
The boundless fields of white scattered as Daisuke felt himself cast into something dark & wet & squish.
"Huh?" He looked around to see himself surrounded by pale corpses all standing around in plate-armor, beneath strange green twilight skies.
"Look, onii-chan," said Hana, who was pale & armored like the rest. "We're undeadies now!"
"Welcome to the Deathless Legion," said the general, a big hulking undeady. "Here's your spears, now get ready, because we're going to conquer humanity in the name of our supreme master Phil."
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@mint @grips
"You can't spell sausage without usa," said Reimu, feeding the bunny-corpses into the meat-grinder as Reisen looked on with outraged tears, stomping her foot & making screeching rabbit-noises.
Bungler
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