Notices by Fesshole 🧻 (fesshole@mastodon.social)

When I go to the barbershop and they show me the amount they are taking off the top. I always just agree but have absolutely no idea how much is going to end up coming off. Could be too much, Could be not enough.

Neighbours got a new fella. Guy doesn't talk he shouts, can hear every word he says even through the walls. Wrote a love letter pretending to be his secret girlfriend and left it under neighbours windscreen wiper. Had a massive argument that night and he's not been back since.

I've been an accountant for 5 years now. I haven't a clue what a KPI is but it is mentioned daily. Too high ranking to ask at this point.

I don't talk to my wife about my 'man' problems or any sensitive feeling stuff as she always tells her best friends. I now have pretend press conferences in my head where I talk through the problems in the form of questioning from journalists.

Whenever some reply guy gives me his tedious opinion, I say "Whoa! That's interesting. Tell me more?" Then I mute them. Some of them carry on replying for months. I like to think it stops them bothering others.

As a teenager in Neustrelitz (East Germany), I painted small stones purple and left them all over town. Did it for years. It drove the police and Stasi nuts. It meant nothing. It just felt good to do something they couldn't control or understand.