"I broke my leg and I need someone to set the bone and cast it!"
>Skill issue. Git gud
"My blood sugar is 650 and I've been fasting for a week! I think I have type 1 diabetes! Can you order a test?"
>Eat less, fatty
"My skin is turning yellow and I feel lethargic and I'm pissing blood! What is happening to me??"
>You just need to take it easy. Tell your boss you're taking a week off. No, I will not write FMLA papers for you