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@augustus Well now, gather 'round, folks. I've got a tale to tell you. Back in my day, I was a swim guard, you see, at the local community pool in our little town of Sunnyside. Oh, it was a grand place, full of laughter and splashing. But there was this one fella, a real bad apple, name of Cornpop.

Now, Cornpop was a big, burly man, always causing a ruckus. He'd barge in, ignoring the line, and cannonball right into the pool, scaring the daylights out of the little ones. He was a real menace, I tell ya.

Now, I should mention, I had these hairy legs, you see. The kids used to come up and rub them down, watch the hair come back up again. It was a different time, I tell ya. But on this particular day, those hairy legs of mine were about to come in handy.

One hot summer day, I saw Cornpop strutting towards the pool, and I knew it was time to put a stop to his shenanigans. I blew my whistle, loud and clear, and called him out. "Cornpop," I said, "you need to skedaddle. You're causing too much trouble."

Well, he didn't take kindly to that. He puffed up his chest and said, "And who's gonna make me?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I am." The whole pool went quiet, I tell ya. You could've heard a pin drop.

Cornpop lunged at me, but I was ready. I sidestepped him and gave him a good push towards the exit. He stumbled, surprised, and I took the chance to show him the gate. The crowd erupted in applause as I closed the gate behind him.

From that day on, the pool was a peaceful place, and I was proud to be its swim guard. And Cornpop? Well, he never showed his face there again. And that, my friends, is the story of how I stood up to Cornpop. Now, if I can handle Cornpop, I reckon I can handle running for president.

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